Stacey
Newbie
[ss:BlueTwilight]
Posts: 24
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Post by Stacey on Nov 30, 2006 17:23:04 GMT -5
OK, I have been seeing this guy for over 3 months now. He's the best boyfriend I have ever had, and he's the first one who isn't ashamed of being with me, we can talk, share secrets and do anything together! The only problem is he's 16 and I'm 13. My mum found a private text message on my phone from him and said I would be safer dumping him because 'guys that age want more than a kiss and a cuddle'. I told her I broke up with him and havn't seen him for weeks but I sneak out every night to be with him. He's even got me smoking and I don't want to tell my mum but there are alot of ways she can find out and I think she is getting suspicious. I don't want to tell her, and I don't want her to find out fom someone else. The point is, I wanna keep seeing this guy but she won't let me. She thinks I havn't spoken to him in ages, I'm with him for hours every night and I pretend to sleep over at a friends house just to be with him.
What can I do?
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daydreamer
Getting there!
[ss:PinkMadness]
Posts: 61
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Post by daydreamer on Dec 1, 2006 3:32:08 GMT -5
First off, not all sixteen year old guys want more than a kiss and a cuddle, I am speaking about myself at the moment Second my opinion is if he's the best boyfriend you have ever had, then why did he get you to smoke? You are way far too young to even smoke at all. The legal age is 18 (unless you aren't in america, and i can't speak for you on that) and you are only 13. that is a big problem within its own. Do you realize how much harm that can cause? Though I am not judging you or your boyfriend, I'm just trying to show you the harms of smoking. But back on topic... You shouldn't keep things from your mother, even if she won't approve of you two going out and seeing each other. Not trusting her enough with something like this can be very bad in the long run. If you can't tell her something like this what can you tell when you grow up? Get into the habit of talking to her ,and just suggest to her something like a no questions policy, like if you ever need help in a dire situation, just call her to help you without questions (hahaha got that from a show). If you are not open with her, how can she trust you? If she doesn't approve of you going out, just tell her how strongly you feel about him. I would rather you tell your mom and have the fights you will have than keep it a secret from her. She is your mother and she is just there to protect you, and to keep you safe. She will always love and care for you no matter what. I really would just have a sit down with her and just talk, nothing can go wrong with that. Take care and the best of luck to you ~Day Dreamer
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Post by -‰KillerStyle‰- on Dec 1, 2006 4:33:16 GMT -5
Daydreamer said everything I would of. If you need anything let us know.
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Stacey
Newbie
[ss:BlueTwilight]
Posts: 24
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Post by Stacey on Dec 1, 2006 7:03:47 GMT -5
That's great advice, and he doesn't want more than a kiss and a cuddle. He and another friend of mine got me smoking, so it wasn't all his fault, the the legal age over here is 16.
But over all, I'm sorry, I just can't tell my mum, you don't know what she's like, shes afraid of me turning into my older sister whos 18 going out with a 26 year old perv she met online.
I don't wanna be like her so I can't tell.
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Post by Will on Dec 1, 2006 8:38:36 GMT -5
You sure? You can't say anything to her? Explain you're not like your sister, and you know this guy and he's alright, and he doesn't want more than... you know what, why don't you just call her on it? I tried it once and it worked. Tell her, no, he doesn't want sex, he's not that kind of person, he wouldn't make me do anything I didn't want to. Chances are she's probably still afraid of her little girl growing up. In any case, you really shouldn't be sneaking around... what if you get caught? You'll be in huge trouble, and maybe it's easier to just tell her and sort it out now, or sooner rather than later?
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Post by vy on Dec 2, 2006 7:53:35 GMT -5
Hey Stacey:
If you're wondering about what to do about the situation, it seems you have two chooses:
1.) Tell your mother - 50/50 chance - Benefits: no more guilty conscience, and more time to hang out with b-friend. Possible down fall: She might object to the relationship - which she is already doing now.
OR
2.) Continue like this - Benefits: don't have to deal with mom, for now. Possible down fall: She is suspicious - might find out - when she does - guilty conscience - and all hell breaks loose.
I suggest #1 because it is more of a long term solution, while #2 is a little more temporary, which is fine - if you only plan to have a temporary relationship with this guy. However, if you want him around for a while, number #1 might be better, because then him and your mom will be able to get to know each other better - making it easier on you.
Good lucks to you Stacey.
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Stacey
Newbie
[ss:BlueTwilight]
Posts: 24
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Post by Stacey on Feb 1, 2007 8:27:02 GMT -5
Thanks for the advice everyone, she found out I was still going out with him she she is ok with it. She really likes him. Thanks again
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Post by -‰KillerStyle‰- on Feb 4, 2007 10:00:08 GMT -5
Im glad she likes him I hope it all works out okay
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