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Post by Beautiful Disaster on Nov 25, 2006 5:46:41 GMT -5
It's still rape if...- She says "no," but he figures she really means "yes" and goes ahead anyway.
- She drinks so much she can't really tell what is going on or resist, and he has intercourse with her.
- He takes her out to dinner, then back to her apartment and forces her to have sex with him because "she owes him."
- A couple is making out and she wants to stop, but he "can't help himself," and he forces her to have intercourse with him.
I get asked this alot and many girls say these answers so YES it is still rape if the things above have happened to you! Don't be scared or in denial REPORT IT GIRLS AND GUYS!!
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Post by littlemikey on Nov 25, 2006 6:14:37 GMT -5
That is rape... all of the above situations are
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Post by biancasaur on Nov 26, 2006 1:02:05 GMT -5
Thanks for posting this, BeautifulDisaster! All of those situations are rape... many people think rape only occurs in a dark alley by a stranger... or "it's not rape because he was such a nice guy." No means no, that's it.
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Post by allianne on Nov 26, 2006 1:42:31 GMT -5
Thank you so much for posting this! Sometimes when it happens to you, you need to see your personal situation written down as rape before it really registers what happened.
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Post by Dreamers Dream on Nov 26, 2006 2:51:38 GMT -5
Thats true and its very frusterating when a girl feels like she owed them it or any of the other situations stated above. I understand that these feelings come from being ashamed, in denial or what not but I wish more girls would report it when it happens so the raper can get the punishment they deserve and hopefully it will stop them from harming another girl.
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Post by Sparkle on Nov 26, 2006 4:52:36 GMT -5
I think this thread should be stickied.
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Post by Will on Dec 1, 2006 8:53:54 GMT -5
No. I don't like this.
You are assuming that only guys rape girls, something which is blatantly NOT true. Guys get raped all the time, it's just hardly reported.
Also, please be aware that 90% of rape happens by someone the victim knows, such as a family member. Furthermore, rape isn't always about sex. Guys don't rape girls because 'they gotta' or because 'they're guys lol!'. It's because of power. Not just guys as well. Rapists (male OR female) usually rape because they want to feel empowered, not because they 'want some'. Please keep this in mind.
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Post by Beautiful Disaster on Dec 1, 2006 16:34:58 GMT -5
This thread is directed more towards girls because that who always asks me about it.
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daydreamer
Getting there!
[ss:PinkMadness]
Posts: 61
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Post by daydreamer on Dec 1, 2006 18:42:34 GMT -5
SVU (special victims unit) is a good show to learn about these things. The producers research everything before putting it into a show. I think it is very good and it does express things about rape and what not since SVU is about sexually based crimes. Personally I think there should be a separate squad devoted to sex crimes, people who are specially trained for this kind of stuff. I know I want to work with rape victims and put people in jail.
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Post by Will on Dec 3, 2006 22:23:08 GMT -5
Um. I think I kind of kinderstand the sentence you're trying to convey.
But, no. What If I came up to you and said, hey Beautiful Disaster, I've been raped by a girl. What can I do? Would you change this post then? Because if so, why wait for a guy to actually get raped? Most guys will not admit to being raped, so your best hope is to write good info and hope a lurker will read it.
BTW all of this sounds like an easy way for a girl to randomly make money. She agrees to having sex, then whispers 'no' so he can't hear it, and continues. Then when it' s over she tells him she said 'no' and he ignored her. she proceeds to sue him, making thousands of dollars. The guy is now homeless because our society believes women too easily.
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Post by , Anna, BO, Banna, on Dec 7, 2006 14:44:46 GMT -5
but girls get raped more, guys are more stronger and more sex driven
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Post by biancasaur on Dec 10, 2006 21:26:22 GMT -5
I agree, Will, that it's important to recognize that men are raped. And that they are raped not only by other men but by women too. All rape is wrong no matter who does it.
However, it is also true that the majority of rape is perpetrated by men and that the victims are women. There's no way to deny that, walking down a dark street, a young woman is more likely to be assaulted and raped than a young man is in the same area. This doesn't mean all men are rapists or that it's worse when women are raped as opposed to men.
You're right on about rape not being about sex. Often, rape is a way for someone to gain power over another.
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Post by biancasaur on Dec 10, 2006 21:29:03 GMT -5
BTW all of this sounds like an easy way for a girl to randomly make money. She agrees to having sex, then whispers 'no' so he can't hear it, and continues. Then when it' s over she tells him she said 'no' and he ignored her. she proceeds to sue him, making thousands of dollars. The guy is now homeless because our society believes women too easily. This doesn't happen as often as people think it happens. And perpetrating the idea that tons of women "cry rape" all the time just disempowers rape survivors, because it makes them less likely to report it. Not to mention the fact that it would be ridiculously hard for a woman to sue a man for thousands of dollars without any evidence of rape. It's hard enough for women who ARE raped to press charges.
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Post by allianne on Dec 11, 2006 0:04:56 GMT -5
Okay, the way I see it, women are raped more often than men are so it makes sense that women reported more. (Sorry if I word this badly. It's just as awful and humiliating for men too) But, I've seen too many times people thinking that just because a woman regrets sleeping with someone, they claim it's rape. It's a very VERY small percentage of women who will go through with reporting and taking a man to court for rape if it isn't true. It does happen, but it's rare. There aren't many women out there who are planning ways to make money or benefit from falsely accusing someone of rape. Women are people, there are some good and some bad.
It's like saying that girls who only had a little bit of alcohol and sleep with someone often like to go around telling people she was raped and too drunk to understand what was happening. No, that's not something happening all the time.
Laws including the guidelines above are made because (for men and women) someone takes advantage of another when they normally wouldn't consent.
Sorry I seem to be being dramatic, a rape victim has to be able to prove someone is guilty (much much harder than you would think) so even if they said they are totally plastered to the court, they need evidence. False claims with no proof will in no way be enough to lock someone away.
I found what was said to be very offensive, and I would think that as there are probably rape victims reading this (especially those who have no support or have no one that believes them) this topic shouldn't carelessly be thrown around to insinuate that women take advantage of those laws. It's insulting.
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Post by biancasaur on Dec 13, 2006 19:45:59 GMT -5
There aren't many women out there who are planning ways to make money or benefit from falsely accusing someone of rape. Women are people, there are some good and some bad. I totally agree. Of course it is possible that a woman might say she was raped when she wasn't (although I believe she would have a very hard time actually getting someone put in prison if there is no evidence, since it's hard enough to get some put in prison when rape *does* happen). But news flash, there are people who will abuse ANY system. There are people who abuse painkillers. Does this mean no painkillers should be available to ANYONE because a few people might abuse them? Some people are alcoholics; does this mean we should outlaw alcohol for everyone? Similarly, some people will abuse the justice system. That doesn't mean something is wrong with the system itself. The idea of a woman suing a man for thousands of dollars and making him homeless even though there is no evidence of rape is pretty ridiculous. Just think of every time a woman accuses a well-known, rich or powerful man of rape or sexual assault. More often than not, the public sides with the man and the woman gets accused of either lying about it or deserving it. Remember the woman who accused Kobe Bryant of rape?
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fairylover777
Newbie
Please, Don't Break Me[ss:BlueTwilight]
Posts: 4
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Post by fairylover777 on Jan 1, 2007 20:45:03 GMT -5
I agree with Will in that *usually* rape is about power, not lust. And I can attest to the fact that men are raped/molested because that happened to two of my ex's, and they are guys. As for the idea of a woman falsely accusing a man of rape for money...I'm not saying it's never happened before, but the awkwardness of having to detail to an entire courtroom every nuance of the supposed rape, while keeping your story straight when telling the police, and telling the jury, and telling your family, and telling your friends...I imagine it would be difficult. I agree with Biancasaur in that respect.
Just my two cents.
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