fairylover777
Newbie
Please, Don't Break Me[ss:BlueTwilight]
Posts: 4
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Post by fairylover777 on Jan 1, 2007 20:54:41 GMT -5
Ok about a year or so ago a boy- I'll call him C- at my used-to-be school (I've graduated) asked if I needed a ride to work. I did, cause I hated taking the bus and I didn't have a truck yet. There were other kids in the car, so I didn't think anything of it. He dropped off everyone but me and we started talking about my ex, who was his best friend until my ex dated C's ex. He started asking me all these sexual questions, and I went along with it cuz well I'm a pretty volatile person sexually and I liked the attention. He asked if I wanted to have sex, and I didn't really want to cuz I wasn't attracted to him, but I felt bad about saying no and plus he *had* given me a ride, after all. I told him no, but he kept bugging me and kissing me and crap like that. So we had sex, but the whole time I didn't want to do it. And I didn't even like it.
Now, I've been totally honest with you about my little story, and I realize it would not stand up in court. So please, don't tell me that. But I want to know...do you think he was justified in having sex with me, even though all I did was SAY no, until he started doing it anyway and then I said "ok fine I guess." I never struggled. What do you think, honestly?
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!__ANOMALY
Cool User
LGFUAD[ss:BlueTwilight]
Posts: 103
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Post by !__ANOMALY on Jan 1, 2007 22:20:45 GMT -5
Hm. No, I really don't think it was. You said no at first. But it seems like you were just kinda "whatever" about it afterwords. It sounds like it was fairly consensual to me.
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Post by WilD CherrY on Jan 2, 2007 1:00:23 GMT -5
In simple words I would classify it as not rape.
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Post by littlemikey on Jan 4, 2007 3:39:40 GMT -5
I agree... There is a quote from Snow Falling on Ceaders that sums up this moment, when Kabuo tells Etta Heine "You haven't done anythig illegal, wrong is a different matter."
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Post by biancasaur on Jan 5, 2007 19:33:20 GMT -5
He obviously coerced you into sex. It's not clear to me whether or not you said "No, I don't want to have sex" and then he did it anyway -- if that's the case, then just because you didn't struggle doesn't make it consensual sex. However, this is definitely coerced because you were made to feel like you "owed" him sex.
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Post by Will on Jan 15, 2007 10:01:28 GMT -5
But he didn't do it on purpose so that she'd 'owe' him, that was her own train of thought. I don't think it was rape, she could have resisted a lot harder. I mean, it's just sex.
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Post by -‰KillerStyle‰- on Jan 15, 2007 18:37:38 GMT -5
I don't think it was rape, if you really didn't want to have sex you could of done alot more to stop it. It seems like you led him on that it was 'okay' by saying 'okay I guess'.
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Post by biancasaur on Jan 15, 2007 19:14:58 GMT -5
Reading this again, I'm still pretty confused.
If you said No, and he ignored this and kept going, then there's no excuse. Yes, it is rape, even though it was not violent. I mean, I'm assuming he HEARD you say no, right?
If you did not say no and just went along with it, then this would probably not be considered rape, because, as Will said, it was only in your own mind and he couldn't have known that you didn't want to if you didn't say anything ((although we all wish we could expect people to be more sensitive and *ask* us what we want, of course)).
Oh, and just because a woman doesn't struggle as much as she possibly can, that doesn't mean she wasn't raped.
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