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Post by blindmyeyes on Jan 18, 2007 1:12:58 GMT -5
This is kinda long, but im after advice. Thing is I’m bi. Ive had girlfriends and boyfriends and a long-term crush on my best friend who is female. I have recently broken up with my girlfriend and I don’t think I want to be a lesbian but I feel much more uncomfortable around guys than I ever have with girls. I like girls more, but I really just want it all to stop. I really like this guy, [really hot and I do find him attractive, I always have] I have known him for awhile and we are really close. He asked me out and I really wanted to say yes, but I said no as him being a guy was kinda a turn off. Any thoughts? *Edited by LittleMikey* To clear a bit of confusion, blindmyeyes is a girl
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Post by Sparkle on Jan 18, 2007 1:20:16 GMT -5
I don't understand.... sorry. You say you're ni nut him being a guy is a turn off? How does that work?
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Post by blindmyeyes on Jan 18, 2007 1:23:21 GMT -5
i dont kno. its really confusing for me so i get that i didnt post it very clearly.. hmm, i really like him as a person i guess. He is amazingly cool and all, maybe im just no longer into him in a relationship way. i dont know. he isnt really the problem, the fact that im more into girls is. i dont want to be gay cause its weird and different and girls just can be really mean sometimes. Im not saying that all are, just the ones that seem to be options around me. Maybe im just in a bad scene.
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Post by Sparkle on Jan 18, 2007 2:16:10 GMT -5
Ok, sorry. I'm not too good in the morning Well... ghirls can be bitchy, yes, but if you're gay, you're gay! There's nothing you can do to change it and plenty of people nowadays are gay and have been accepted into society... Maybe just carry on going out with girls etc, but try not to advertise the fact you're gay wwhile you're still in school. Once you get out of such a caged envirnment you shoudl be fine.
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Post by Will on Jan 18, 2007 4:40:19 GMT -5
As a non-gay person, I find it difficult to see exactly how a person could be gay. Could you clarify why it is you're not attracted to guys; and girls instead? I don't understand.
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Post by blindmyeyes on Jan 18, 2007 4:59:35 GMT -5
im bi so to me i guess its suppost to all be the same. I look at girls and i dont just think i like that skirt or anything, i think that i like their legs or ass or something. Im not saying I make a habit of randomly checking out girls, but i find myself doing so. Its what your attracted to, for many many gay chicks the thought of being with a guy is a massive turn off just as it would be for a straight girl to be with anouther straight girl. Im not very good at explaining this. Also you probably have guy friends and maybe a boyfriend and so you know how its just differernt on a level. well its the same for lesbains, we have friends who happen to be girls and friends where its just different.. it just happens.
okay, so i cant explain it, it just happens. its what your body and mind respond to i guess.
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Post by blindmyeyes on Jan 18, 2007 5:04:17 GMT -5
on second thought.. ur a straight guy, so ur attracted to girls not guys.. same reasons. its just we are girls seeing the same things u like in girls. its probably not that simple.
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Post by littlemikey on Jan 18, 2007 6:46:07 GMT -5
I think I understand what you are saying. You are a girl, who likes girls more then guys. Thats not a problem, and you shouldent be judged by society for it. If you do like a guy, but think that you shouldent have a relationship with him because you arent really attracted to males either. As long as you can find a social group that you are comfortable in, there shouldent be any problem. Go out with whoever you want to go out with, if you like a certian girl more then anyone else go for her, and the same if its a guy. Just do what your heart tells you too Is there any particular thing that you need advice on? Because I cant really see a problem exept for how people may think about you.
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!__ANOMALY
Cool User
LGFUAD[ss:BlueTwilight]
Posts: 103
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Post by !__ANOMALY on Jan 18, 2007 7:05:26 GMT -5
I know it's hard when we live in such an ignorant world, but there is nothing wrong with your sexual orientation. No matter what people may think, you can't change it, just like you can't change the color of your skin or where you are from. It's just a part of who you are. If you like girls better than guys, there's nothing wrong with that. Love is not a crime, it doesn't matter if you like girls or guys. People are going to give people shit for one thing or another. If it weren't your sexual orientation, they'd find something else, it's just how people are. You don't have to be open about it if you don't want to. But you shouldn't have to hide it either.
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Post by Will on Jan 18, 2007 11:26:51 GMT -5
She didn't say she had a problem with her orientation.
And, I still don't really get it. Case in point: I am not attracted to guys. I can see they might be handsome or decent people, but the thought of sexual attraction to them is nauseating and repulsive. Is that the same for you then?
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Post by blindmyeyes on Jan 18, 2007 23:21:25 GMT -5
well i think it might be for lesbain chicks. im bi, so everything is sex to me. okay.. that was an off thing to say. but its true. i didnt really state my problem well enough, its long and detailed and its not just one problem is many, but it would all just go away if i was straight, people would accept me better.
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Post by Will on Jan 18, 2007 23:41:06 GMT -5
I still don't understand. You're saying that for bi people, everyone they see is a potential candidate for sex. Maybe you're actually lesbian but are being conditioned to like guys because society says you should. And most people don't hate gay or bi people, they're afraid of them because they don't understand what's going on. Most homophobic guys, for instance, are actually afraid of gays because they don't want to be bum-raped and they don't understand that gays don't actually *beep* every guy they see. And that surely must be the same in your case, I bet you don't look at everyone like they're a potential sex candidate, just like I don't look at every girl like that.
Can't you just re-think how you think, and stop being bi? I don't get it. If you're bi it means you like guys and girls, in which case you can suppress liking girls and this makes you straight. Is that wrong?
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Post by blindmyeyes on Jan 19, 2007 4:13:36 GMT -5
when it really comes down to it. Its just really confusing, even if im not activily being gay its still there, and im still labelled with it. I know i didnt really state a problem or anything, i guess im just confused and hurt. sorry for wasteing time.
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Post by Will on Jan 19, 2007 7:39:46 GMT -5
You're not wasting time at all, don't think like that.
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Post by biancasaur on Jan 24, 2007 21:25:44 GMT -5
It sounds like, even though you idenitfy as bisexual, you're actually more physically attracted to women than men. This is perfectly okay -- you don't have to label yourself exactly. I know someone who was 100% lesbian until she met a particular man -- they're now married. What would you call her? The truth is, it's totally fine to defy labels and just be yourself. Don't worry about whether you're normal, just do what makes you and your partners happy and be safe.
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Amor
Getting there!
[ss:EmphemSkin]
Posts: 63
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Post by Amor on Feb 9, 2007 15:16:07 GMT -5
Hey, I just wnated ot give a little input here as a bisexual girl. A friend linked me over to here and yeah...
Anyway.
No, it's not a wrong way of thinking. It does seem very reasonable. But then again. No it's not that easy. That's like pretending to be what you're not. Playing dress up if you will. You cannot just in a heartbeat change who and what you are. And you can't force yourself to do so either.
Example: I had a friend, and sadly he commited suicide. He was gay and not accepted at all in his school (we went to different schools at that time). He was beat up daily. Teased to no end. All that hatred. His one wish was to not be gay anymore but he couldn't change it. He was no attracted to women at all. He wished and wished. Finally, he couldn't take it anymore and killed himself. You can not force yourself ot change what you are. And it's sad that people still can't accept people for what they are.
Being bi is not a bad thing. We do not see every person as a sex candidate. We can just feel a NATURAL attraction towards both sexes. It's jsut a natural instinct. As natural as it is for a straight guy to be attracted to women and a straight girl being attracted to guys.
To blindmyeyes: If you are more attracted to girls. That is fine. No one is making you be attracted to guys but yourself. If you only wish to be friends with them, that is fine. If you someday do find a guy that changes that all around for you, that is fine. But if right now you want friendships with guys and relationships with girls, go right on ahead and do it. It's not wrong.
I hope this helped a little. Just wanted to give my input on this.
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Post by xbrokenxdreams on Mar 1, 2007 20:25:23 GMT -5
I totally understand how you feel because I have been in that same situation. I am bi. I always called myself lesbian tho because I was more attracted to girls and even though I was attracted to some guys I didnt want to be with them in that way. Then I met this one guy and I really really liked him but I still didnt really want to be with him I mean I did but I wished he was a girl so I could be with him but finally I just decided to give it a chance and now Im totally in love with him despite the fact that he is a guy.
If you like him and the only thing stopping you from being with him is the fact that he is a guy I say give it a chance.
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