|
Post by Beautiful Disaster on Apr 7, 2006 4:17:50 GMT -5
Well I guess some of u know since my last post that my grampa died a week ago. I just want to know how to deal with it. Most of the attention is on my mom because they were close and my dad hasn't been around for years but shes so busy dealing with herself its like no time for me. I dont want my urges to come back. How can I be there for her and still get what I need to be okay?
|
|
L.B
Junior Member
The Fridge
I have 4 hugs =[[ss:Tropical Paradise]
Posts: 194
|
Post by L.B on Apr 8, 2006 4:01:59 GMT -5
I'm really sorry about your loss. You have to let them know how you are feeling and explain that you need comfort and support too during these hard times.. Sometimes people get caught up because there greiving so badly they don't notice the things going on around them. Don't feel left out or like no one cares that you are sad because they do. People sometimes don't know how to deal with it. You and your mom need to comfert each other and work through it together. Maybe look into getting some grief counselling for the both of you together or seperatly. RIP to your Grandpa.
|
|
|
Post by guitarchic141 on May 4, 2006 13:39:47 GMT -5
L.B. had some good points. There grief councelling is good especially if you or your mum were close to him. Also try to surround yourself with things you love. friends, family, draw, play music, cook, sing, juggles... the options are endless.
My grandpa died last year whilst I had chicken pox so i couldnt go to the funeral and so my friend bought me over Pirates of the Carribean (it was my bday that week) and i watched that several times which really helped because im a nut about pirates ^_^ and then when my aunt and neighbour both died recently the best piece of advice i was given was by a girl at school, "Dont slouch, dont walk, dont jog, dont run, just hop or skip and have some fun" (when you say it its like some song thingo)
-hugs- take care okay? if you have any urges post or message me ok? -bigger hug-
|
|
|
Post by Family Guy on May 11, 2006 5:20:19 GMT -5
i dont know what to say that sucks and then your pet too.. must be hard.
|
|
Kat
Cool User
[ss:Euphoric]
Posts: 107
|
Post by Kat on May 18, 2006 10:03:47 GMT -5
*glomps* Hey, Beautiful Disaster...
It must be really hard. I feel so bad for you, and yet I feel awful because the advice I try to give you is not something I can tell you from experience, but I will try...
From your earlier posts, I can tell that you and your mother don't have a healthy relationship. You've also mentioned some stuff about her having a borderline personality disorder. I think that despite the crisis you are both going through, this might be a good way to not only improve your relationship with your mother, but also to (possibly) get her to get help with her disorder.
I think that sometimes, if you ever see her feeling really bad, or crying or whatever, you can just walk up to her and give her a hug. "It's OK, Mom, we're all upset about this." Show that you support her, yet at the same time, don't act like it's all about her. You have to reflect your feelings of grief and suffering as well; don't cover up the way you feel, because that's unhealthy.
Presenting the idea of grief counselling to her could be very hard. You should maybe give her the impression that you're going to do it, too; maybe even do it by yourself, and mention how it helps you and stuff, to tempt her into doing it, too. If she likes it, she may decide to get more help with her personality disorder.
Then again, this might not work too well. I'm not exactly...the best at this. I don't know what you've tried with your mother, so maybe not. But it's a suggestion...
|
|
|
Post by Beautiful Disaster on May 22, 2006 20:49:49 GMT -5
Thanks Its very comforting to read what you all have said. Things are getting better now and I think Im dealing with it all okay now.
|
|
|
Post by GrapeJuice on May 22, 2006 22:09:19 GMT -5
|
|
Viper
Junior Member
[ss:BlueTwilight]
Posts: 167
|
Post by Viper on May 23, 2006 22:54:04 GMT -5
I am really sorry I know what it is like to loose a grandpa when your dad was nenver there for you even if he is living in the same house... Mine passed two years ago. For me knowing that he was not in pane when he died and praying about it helped the most. And think about all the good times you had with him and how much time you had with him be thankfule he did not die sooner. I also had a really really hard time getting over it.
|
|
|
Post by stars2mind on May 24, 2006 23:35:03 GMT -5
huh?
|
|