Post by Rachel on Apr 19, 2006 10:06:54 GMT -5
To cut my long story short,ive been depressed for about 1 and a half yrs.
During that time,its affected my daily life. I dont go to school anymore because of it,i never go out of the house because i think ive developed a social disorder/phobia.
I have no friends at all,i have very low self esteem.
My depression has been really bad since about the start of this year.
Ive had constant suicidal thoughts and self harm cravings.
There are times when i am so upset and stressed,that ill keep thinking of OD'ing,but i dont know whether i have the courage to do it yet.
My self harm has been going on for about 2 months on and off.
I started by scratching my arm with scissors,where it would leave a mark that would maybe stay for a few days upto about a week.
But i cut for the first time today,just a little cut that brought a little bit of blood. 5 minutes after doing it i felt better and stopped crying.
But for the past few weeks,it seems that little tiny things are triggering me. Im ALWAYS thinking about self-harming.
My mum just raised her voice to me,i wanted to hurt myself,but didnt.
I can usually resist the little urges i get when little things happen,but when something really hurts me,then i just have to SH.
I dont want any replies saying 'please dont self harm,and please dont commit suicide' because i already know that SH is not the answer,but its the only good thing that makes me feel better.
I dont know why im posting this,i think its because im finding it stressful with the little triggers i get all the time,and just to let it all out really xx
During that time,its affected my daily life. I dont go to school anymore because of it,i never go out of the house because i think ive developed a social disorder/phobia.
I have no friends at all,i have very low self esteem.
My depression has been really bad since about the start of this year.
Ive had constant suicidal thoughts and self harm cravings.
There are times when i am so upset and stressed,that ill keep thinking of OD'ing,but i dont know whether i have the courage to do it yet.
My self harm has been going on for about 2 months on and off.
I started by scratching my arm with scissors,where it would leave a mark that would maybe stay for a few days upto about a week.
But i cut for the first time today,just a little cut that brought a little bit of blood. 5 minutes after doing it i felt better and stopped crying.
But for the past few weeks,it seems that little tiny things are triggering me. Im ALWAYS thinking about self-harming.
My mum just raised her voice to me,i wanted to hurt myself,but didnt.
I can usually resist the little urges i get when little things happen,but when something really hurts me,then i just have to SH.
I dont want any replies saying 'please dont self harm,and please dont commit suicide' because i already know that SH is not the answer,but its the only good thing that makes me feel better.
I dont know why im posting this,i think its because im finding it stressful with the little triggers i get all the time,and just to let it all out really xx