Hey
Well im sorry to hear that life is pretty tough for you at the moment.
But what you have to do,is actually think of the things that are making you cut (like your Dad) and focus on trying to make them better if you can,I can understand thats usually not possible for some people.
Maybe you could focus on the good things you have in your life instead of the bad?
Maybe friends,family that love you,education etc..whatever makes you happy and you feel its worth living for.
Would you say your grieving for your neighbour and relative that died?
I can tell you,grief does mess people up pretty bad.
Ive heard such horror stories of the kinds of things my father did when his dad died (got drunk all the time,dug up his dads ashes a few times from the graveyard >.<)
So whoever leaves us for the next life,no matter how there related to us,it affects us all in different ways.
I know this is different,but a few years ago my neice and nephew (toddlers at the time) were taken away from us and adopted into another family. We'll never see them again,and ive never mentioned this online to someone before. But i did grieve for them,because it was just like they had died..knowing that ill never see them again.
I hate it when people bring them into conversation,or show me photos of them,i just want to shout 'yeah well they've gone so theres no need to talk about them anymore'.
I always,and i mean always,change the subject,or end it with a line such as 'oh right' and walk away into another room,i cant stand talking about them.
Now..for the cutting,if its becoming a bad problem for you and you actually want to stop for yourself,then i suggest you get some help.
Most cutters dont get through the addiction of SH alone.
They end up getting help,and pull through it eventually.
Yes it will be a struggle if your addicted to doing it,but you CAN do it,you just need to have faith in yourself
But the most important thing is,you have to
want to stop cutting.
To get help,you could maybe tell a relative? a parent? a friend? someone at school such as a teacher you trust?
Whatever you do,i wish you all the luck in the world
Take Care xx