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Post by Beautiful Disaster on May 1, 2006 23:41:53 GMT -5
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Post by ♥ Victoria ♥ on May 2, 2006 8:22:30 GMT -5
Do you mean your mom doesnt care how you feel when you are sad?
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Kat
Cool User
[ss:Euphoric]
Posts: 107
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Post by Kat on May 2, 2006 17:00:49 GMT -5
Hmm...I'm not sure what to say. Obviously, you've tried a lot of things, and none of them have worked. It sounds to me like you might want to try a different approach--writing her a letter, getting someone to talk to her, maybe even seeking some professional advice.
Whatever you do, don't feel like it's your fault. It's not; remember that! Although you may be reluctant, professional advice may be the best thing to do. A mother-daughter relationship is important, and it sounds like your whole relationship has gone a bit sour just because of this. People telling you to ignore it doesn't help either; when there's a problem, it needs to be dealt with. You might just want to talk to your school social worker or something (if you have one) to see what they say.
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Post by littlemikey on May 2, 2006 18:36:15 GMT -5
My mother does that to me too... she keeps saying "Stop doing the poor me..." I hate it.
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Post by (_.·: mot0 :·._) on May 2, 2006 19:30:26 GMT -5
**Language**
Next time she says, "WELL HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL"...Tell her you could care less sense she doesn't give a d**n about what you think. Tell her you're her daughter and that she should respect you. Do something about it, in my opinion parents should be there for you at all times necessary. I am sure everyone here agrees with me too.
I hope everything works out. Kat is right, you should try something different though. I usually write down what I feel when I can't talk to my parents about it and then I give them the letter. It is a whole lot easier for me and it makes me feel better.
Try what Kat suggested and see if that works, if not...then possibly right a song. That could work, write about what you feel inside.
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Post by Beautiful Disaster on May 2, 2006 19:54:07 GMT -5
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Post by (_.·: mot0 :·._) on May 3, 2006 12:29:17 GMT -5
That really sucks. Well, if she doesn't want to listen to you...then I guess you can't make her. I am sorry for everything that has happened in the past and what is happening now but, the best advice I can give you now is to hang in there.
You are close to graduating and just try to get out of there as soon as possible. If that isn't what you are worried about, and you just need her...then I would suggest getting her counseling. Has she had it before?
Hang in there Disaster, I hope everything works out for you!!
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Kat
Cool User
[ss:Euphoric]
Posts: 107
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Post by Kat on May 3, 2006 16:19:42 GMT -5
//Note: Contains Language;
Holy f**king Shit! d**n her!
I'm sorry, but it sounds like she needs to take her f**king little self to hell. I am really sorry, but I can't believe anyone would do something like that. *hugs tightly* Well, I really hope things turn out OK. In that case, I have no idea what to say, or what help to offer. What I do know is that you shouldn't feel bad about going on and on about things. If you ever need to talk, PM me (lol, we both know my inbox is practically EMPTY), and I'll be there. Maybe what you really need is someone to talk to.
I'm sorry for swearing and all that, but I still can't believe that. Anyway, like I said, I'd be more than happy to talk to you about things if you ever want to talk.
It sounds like what you need is some good support from your friends. Turn to them when you're upset.
Remember that no matter what, it's not your fault! Keep your head held high, and remember that you're an amazing person--not the piece of scum she might treat you like!
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Post by vy on May 3, 2006 22:52:00 GMT -5
Dear Beautiful Disaster:
Hope you are feeling better. It must be hard dealing with all this on your own. Do you have anyone to talk to? It sounds like whenever you start talking to her about something sad in your life, it triggers off something else in her life - that happens to a lot of people. If what you are trying right now doesn't seem to work, I suggest trying something different. If you truly want to communicate with your mom, I suggest doing it in a neutral state. So resist talking to her when you get angry, because a lot of times, words that you don't mean to say, come out the wrong way when you're mad or emotional.
Hope that helps a little.
It is normal for you to feel frustrated, because a lot of times, when we can't communicate effectively with a love one - it can be very frustrating. I know that when something seems hopeless in my life, it is because I haven't looked at all my options yet. Are there any other options you can take when talking to your mom?
You win some, you lose some. So take it easy. Good luck.
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Post by Beautiful Disaster on May 4, 2006 6:29:12 GMT -5
I don't talk to her when Im angry its if I mention something like oh today this happened like for example if I lost something she would go well this person is doing this, and she always complains that she doesnt like anyone because they always do something to her and she just goes off and I ignore it because getting mad at her is not a choice, she goes phsyco if anyone not just me tells her anything that she doesn't want to hear which is anything.
I asked her to get help for her border line personality disorder (even tho shes been diagnosed but won't ever accept it) and she tottally flipped out, kicked me out and ran off with her boyfriend saying how horrible I am and stuff so theres no use.
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Post by (_.·: mot0 :·._) on May 4, 2006 12:02:57 GMT -5
I don't talk to her when Im angry its if I mention something like oh today this happened like for example if I lost something she would go well this person is doing this, and she always complains that she doesnt like anyone because they always do something to her and she just goes off and I ignore it because getting mad at her is not a choice, she goes phsyco if anyone not just me tells her anything that she doesn't want to hear which is anything. I asked her to get help for her border line personality disorder (even tho shes been diagnosed but won't ever accept it) and she tottally flipped out, kicked me out and ran off with her boyfriend saying how horrible I am and stuff so theres no use. I feel so bad. I don't really know what to say. You know she has a problem and that she needs to get over it, it's just she doesn't want to listen to you for some reason. That's really messed up because a mother and/or father should always be there for their children. Well, I'm here for you if you want to talk about anything...I don't know what else to say.
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Post by vy on May 4, 2006 23:35:44 GMT -5
Dear Beautiful Disaster:
I'm sorry. You are a wise girl. Maybe, some things are better left alone. Unfortunatley, like you say, maybe there is no use. This is something that your mom has to admit to, and face. If she doesn't face reality, and admit that she needs help - even if help is before her, it will do no good. She has to want to be helped. Her choice, but what you choose to do can affect her choice: support, love, stay, leave - it is up to you.
Sounds like you love your mom a lot, and this must be so hard, but you know what, it shows great character about you. Still being there for her and the family after being put through all this. After saying that, I also want you to know that you can't take care of someone else, until you take care of yourself. So please take care of yourself.
Some things are the way they are for a reason. Consider it a test. It can teach you or drag you down, your choice. It can teach something to only you, and only you know how to over come this test, because it is your life, and your choice.
P.S. You don't have to do it alone. There is always those of us on this site, and your friends, and family. Good Luck.
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Post by Beautiful Disaster on May 6, 2006 6:08:02 GMT -5
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Post by vy on May 8, 2006 14:28:53 GMT -5
Dear Beautiful Disaster You're welcome. Sorry that you were placed into a role of an adult, as a child. That is really unfair, and it is wrong. Life can seem so unfair sometimes, putting us through all this hardship and bad experiences, but it can be for good reason - and can be valuable lessons. Like you, I don't have much of a childhood either. Since childhood, I've taken on the role of an adult, because of my situation. I might not have the happy childhood that others might have, but I have learned many valuable things. I did the best I could with what I had, and it has made me who I am today. Do you understand what I mean? You did, and are still doing the best you can with what you have. It might not seem like it, but these are all experience that will shape you. I'm proud of you, and hope you the best of luck for the future. (Personally, I believe that life can be very fair. When it takes something away - it will give you something else. Just depends on how you look at it.)
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