It won't be that bad.
You didn't ask your mom to bring you to the gynecologist's - but your regular doctor may give you a gynecological exam. Or, (s)he may end up referring you to a gynecologist for a checkup. Outside of a gynecological exam, all your regular doctor can do is to ask you and your mom some questions about your eating habits, health and medical history, take some blood tests, and check your height and weight. But if you really want to find out what's happening with your reproductive system, going to see the gynecologist is definitely a good idea. Getting checked out physically can help you figure out if there are any medical problems that are keeping your period from starting. Plus, as you grow up, yearly gynecological exams are an important part of maintaining your health as a woman - especially as you mature and become sexually active.
There's no need to be scared about your first gynecological visit. Be sure either you or your mother explain to the doctor that it is your first visit, and feel free to communicate that you're nervous. (They're used to this!) Ask the doctor to tell you what (s)he is doing and why (s)he does it. It is up to you to let the doctor know what you need to be comfortable.
If you want your mother in the room with you, or want her to leave, let both of them know. For your first visit, I recommend that you ask your mom to stay - she can help answer questions about your medical health, and talk to you or hold your hand so you feel less anxious.
Because you'll probably be feeling a bit nervous at the appointment, it might be a good idea to write down all the questions you may have about your health, your period, and any other issues that are worrying you ahead of time. Bring that list with you for the doctor to address.
Use the bathroom right before your appointment, so you aren't desperate to pee during the exam. At the appointment, your doctor will probably begin with:
-Some questions about your medical history that you and your mother will answer together
-A basic physical exam, just like at a "regular" doctor's office, including an examination of your eyes and ears, heart and lungs, blood pressure, and weight
-Abasic abdominal exam, where the doctor massages your stomach and hip area, and asks if any spots are tender or painful
-The doctor may also take some blood samples from your arm to check your hormone levels (which in the case of abnormal periods, may be out of whack) and do standard blood and urine tests for STDs
Before or after this point, you'll be given a gown to get into. Most likely, before the pelvic exam, the doctor will do a breast exam, during which (s)he will feel your breasts and chest area in massaging movements to check for any lumps or irregularities.
Now, or perhaps sometime before, you may have noticed that the table you're on has stirrups, and the doctor will pull them out and ask you to slide your feet into them, and move your torso down on the table so that your bottom is sitting on the edge.
Your doctor will then first just look at the appearance of your vagina, looking for any lumps or bumps, swelling, funny colors, or unusual discharge. (S)he may put a finger on your vagina to see if your glands put out any pus or mucus when touched.
You may or may not get a speculum exam. A speculum is a sanitary plastic or metal clamp device which is used to hold open the vagina so that the doctor can examine your vaginal walls and cervix. If you have not had intercourse or have not stretched your own vaginal walls by exploring your body yourself, this may hurt a little bit, but the doctor will gage a size of speculum that is right for you so that it is not too uncomfortable. If you are feeling any pain, you should let your doctor know, and (s)he will make adjustments so that you are more comfortable. If you receive a Pap Smear while you are there, (s)he will use a long Q-tip of sorts to scrape the cervix for tests. This scraping doesn't hurt, it just feels a little funny, as you may not be used to feeling something on your cervix.
If you're curious, you can ask your doctor to get a mirror and show you what your cervix looks like when the speculum is in.
At this point, the doctor will remove the speculum, and after gloving their hands will insert fingers into your vagina while they put their other hand on your abdomen and torso. (S)he'll press different spots on your tummy and hips and ask if anything feels painful or tender.
It can be a little strange, to have someone you don't really know have their hand in your genitals. The best advice I can give you is to understand that's it's really no different from a doctor looking down your throat or in your ears. The only difference is that in our culture, we have put different importance on the genitals, and have different feelings of privacy. Gynecologists aren't perverts who just want to spend all day looking at women's vaginas. They are a specialized practice, just like someone who chooses to do heart surgery, and in general, are people whose personal cares lie in wanting to ensure women's reproductive health. There is no reason to feel it is dirty - it isn't. You're taking care of yourself, and so is the doctor. However, this feeling is why many girls prefer a female gynecologist - because honestly, being treated by a woman in this sensitive area of our body is just a lot more comfortable for most of us girls.
And that's about it. Your exam may not go exactly like I described - the steps may be taken in a different order, or you may require more or less tests - but that's a general overview of a typical first appointment. Although it isn't a whole lot of fun, it isn't terrible either - it's exactly like your regular visits to the dentist. Seeing a gynecologist is a neccessary part of keeping yourself healthy as a woman, and your gynecologist can turn out to be a great source of honest, accurate medical and sexual information for you for years to come.
A final word: Be sure and communicate with your doctor, and express any needs or complaints honestly. If for any reason your doctor seems rushed or uncooperative with your needs, or you get a bad feeling about them, tell your mom - and ask her to help you find another doctor. A good gynecologist can be an excellent ongoing partner in your health, so getting one who you feel comfortable with - and cared about by - is key.
myjellybelly