lia
Newbie
[ss:Euphoric]
Posts: 31
|
Post by lia on Oct 4, 2006 22:48:24 GMT -5
hey, i'm new here... one of my nicknames is lia so yeah... just so there's no confusion...
anyway this is my problem....
i'm basically breaking down right now... theres this guy that is one of my dads friends and i'm terrified of him. whenever i hear about him, or see him or anything to do with him i get these images about me being raped... i've been raped be4, i can barely remember it cause i was 3... but its really bothering me because he was here for almost 3 hours and i was alone with him except my brother was there... which is better, but he reminds me so much of the guy that raped me when i was 3... hes grabbed me before an i know his strength. hes stood over me and watched me sleep. he hacks into my comp (not so much anymore). he hits on me. its just never ending... when he looks at me its enough to hav me in a mental breakdown for like 3 days...
but thats my story... i've talked to my dad about kicking him out of the house when he's there but he doesnt do anything... i've told my dad everything and he doesnt believe me... my mom has talked to my dad... and just arg... he's stalked my friends before, but her parents did something... well her dad did... he pretty much stalks me but my dad wont do anything... and my mom wont talk to this guy cause she hates him beyond words... so she wont say anything...
but is there anything that i can do to help stop these images from coming to my head everytime i see him or whatever? or to stop me from breaking down when he looks at me or talks to me... i need some help before i do something i shouldnt... i've almost crushed my throat before because i didnt want to deal with him...
i've comtemplated suicide, cause its either him or me... and i'd rather him go than me... but if i cant get rid of him then i know i can get rid of me... but i wouldnt do something like that... its just not like me... but can someone help me... please?
lia
|
|
|
Post by Sparkle on Oct 5, 2006 0:51:25 GMT -5
Well talk to your Father again, telll him that this is ruining your life and you need him to leave. Can you go out the house when he's there? Like go to town or some thing with your friends? Or lock yourself in your room and say you're doing home work, then you can listen to music so you can't hear him?
|
|
|
Post by Beautiful Disaster on Oct 5, 2006 14:05:07 GMT -5
What about aunts or uncles who can talk to your parents for you?
|
|
|
Post by Hairball Juni on Oct 5, 2006 17:33:53 GMT -5
Maybe you should tell a counselor of some sort-that might help with the images in your head about being raped and your memories of it-..but definitely someone outside of the household. Obviously, telling your parents directly isn't working, so is there someone that they respect enough that even your father will listen to that person? If you get too uncomfortable around him, you could always go outside of the house...
|
|
lia
Newbie
[ss:Euphoric]
Posts: 31
|
Post by lia on Oct 5, 2006 18:06:41 GMT -5
i cant lock myself in my room... i dont have a door which really sucks... but i've talked to my school counsellor and they dont know how to help me with them... their exact words were "i'm sorry, but i dont know how to help you with images you keep getting in your head" and that was that... i talked to my god mother, she talked to my dad about it and my dad still didnt do anything... i hate my real dad already, and i'm begining to hate my step dad now too... which is sad... it really is... (well i think it is for me) i just dont know what to do anymore... i feel like its hopeless... the counsellors cant help me so its almost like no one can... but yeah... i just would like to know if i can lessen the images from happening or if i can get rid of them and if you guys have any suggestions on this... lia
|
|
|
Post by Hairball Juni on Oct 5, 2006 21:49:40 GMT -5
I was thinking more of consolers that you would be able to find at a hospital or clinic of some sort-school consolers aren't really an expert in this area, but if you can find someone that deals with these types of situations, that may be better. I honestly don't know myself any tips for keeping those images out of your head because I was never in your shoes. Hmm...What about going outside of the house? Is there anyone else besides your godmother that knows about this? If you can get enough people to support you, there is definitely a chance... Don't feel so hopeless; every problem has a solution- you just have to find it and that is what we all are here for.
|
|
lia
Newbie
[ss:Euphoric]
Posts: 31
|
Post by lia on Oct 6, 2006 7:38:55 GMT -5
thanks... i live in a small town so their are no other counsellors around, unless i got to the nearest city wich is a 20-30 min drive for my mom, 45 min if your doing speed limit... and gas is exspensive right now... i have a couple friends that know about it, and my cousin and her ex, and current b/f... but even though her dad is a city cop he cant do anything cause he's a city cop... its stupid... but thanks for the support... and if this guy that i'm totally scared of hits me once then i can go to the cops and my cousins ex is gonna beat him up but its taking too long for that... i'm really close to my cousin, and she said i could probly stay at her place if i needed too... my godmother said the same... but i dont know... i've thought of threatening my step dad that i would go live with my real dad, but i dont cuase i'm scared he'd say leave... actually i know he would say leave... but thanks... this is really bugging me... lia
|
|
|
Post by Sparkle on Oct 6, 2006 10:51:08 GMT -5
Every time you get the images you could try reading, looking at old photos or watching tV to get your mind off them... any thing like that help?
|
|
|
Post by Family Guy on Oct 6, 2006 14:58:49 GMT -5
awww i would go stay with your friend for awhile and stuff id give u a hug smily but they arent working rightz nmow
|
|
|
Post by ♥Monizzle♥ on Oct 6, 2006 15:04:08 GMT -5
Every time you get the images you could try reading, looking at old photos or watching tV to get your mind off them... any thing like that help? i agree with sparkle, try and do something fun like hobbies sports maybe volunteer something ware you are with other people that doesn't know about this so wont bother you and remind you of it, or something you really enjoy to do!!
|
|
lia
Newbie
[ss:Euphoric]
Posts: 31
|
Post by lia on Oct 6, 2006 21:55:44 GMT -5
thanks, but hes here right now and i cant leave the house... i have no place to go... no one lives close enough... i do read alot... but it ussually reminds me of other stuff... which i dont like either... i'm alone in the house and my step dad and him are on the roof... TRYING to fix it... so they force me to make supper... either i do it or i get grounded and get slapped... (my dad believes in dicipline) thanks... i need a hug right now... i'm talking to tom (my cousins ex) and my frend caitlin (my brothers ex) and they are helping bring my spirits up a bit... but i still get images... i try not to think of it but i think about it more then... i volunteer ALOT... and i do dance and stuff... i babysit almost 24/7 and i'm always doing something that involves little physical contact with people... (i like kids though, they listen to me well if i'm babysitting them)... i also read alot... in my room... arg... and i'm like freaking out cause they are in the house now! and arg... i want him gone... either out of my life completely, or me out of everyone elses completely... (and i know i wont commit suicide... i'm not like that) but arg... i've been close... but i decide its not worth it in the end... i'm too young... i could never say good bye for good to some people... and if i cant say good bye then i wont go... and blahh... i know i'm just rambling now... but thanks for the suggestions... but most of them dont work... everyone knows me in this town and i know almost everyone... its hard... and blahh... lia
|
|
|
Post by stars2mind on Oct 8, 2006 12:37:44 GMT -5
its good that you volunteer alot- thats probably the best thing to do keep yourself busy that way you wont be i the same area as him but if you end up staying at home and you have nothing to do just do what you normally do maybe listen to some music that way your mind will be somewhere else and you wont have to listen to his voice
|
|
|
Post by aod on Oct 8, 2006 17:20:09 GMT -5
I can imagine how it would feel. What I would do even though your so skiddish about this guy. I would try getting to know him. Either that or try Focousing your mind on something else. People usually panic when there mind starts to wander a little to freely. I know this sounds weird but. Your subconcious is ruling your mind. Since you got control of yourself. You also got control of your mind. Focus on something else. No matter what it is or how stupid it is. It usually works. Unless the degree is worse. Like a phobia, but anyone can come over there fears
|
|
lia
Newbie
[ss:Euphoric]
Posts: 31
|
Post by lia on Oct 9, 2006 20:49:28 GMT -5
i have tried to get to know him... he creeps and scares the hell out of me... thanks for the addvice guys! i'll try it out! lols its thanksgiving for me and i'm having pizza for supper!! its great! (sorry just had to say that) lia
|
|
|
Post by Sparkle on Oct 10, 2006 0:55:01 GMT -5
Hehe! Glad you seem happier now. Keep posting babe!
|
|
|
Post by Italian Stallion on Oct 10, 2006 13:41:09 GMT -5
yummmmm pizza!! just stay away with him pretend hes not there sooner or later you wont even notice hes there anymore if you let your mind acknowledge him then u will notice it but if u blank him out then u will feel better.
|
|
lia
Newbie
[ss:Euphoric]
Posts: 31
|
Post by lia on Oct 10, 2006 16:25:45 GMT -5
thanks! and i talked to my dad but i doubt he'll do anything... its to the point that if he keeps coming around when my dads not at home (well step dad) that my mom will take me and my brother and leave so that my step dad cant find us and neither can this guy... but thanks... i'll try and blank him out completely lia
|
|