Australia 15yrs old
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Post by Australia 15yrs old on Nov 14, 2006 16:19:09 GMT -5
I hate the way I look. I can't stand my body shape. I've never been satisfied with what I see in the mirror and I started trying to make myself vomit after I ate, like when i was twelve. I wasn't successful until late last year. Now after I eat I have to run to the bathroom or I feel guilty for not doing it. I know it is bad for me because I have read articles and stuff on girls who used to have the same problem. I don't like doing it but if i don't, I feel even worse.
If I don't make myself throw up after eating I cut myself instead. I have so much self hatred it is the only way i can release it. I love seeing the blood seep out and keep flowing. One of my friends saw the scars on my arms and said that I need to see a counselor. I can't think of anything worse, as that is the very last thing I want to do.
I have only ever had one boyfriend and I blame myself for that. I have liked heaps of guys but they never like me back. And if they do it's only because i have big boobs not for who I really am. I hate that about myself.
Everyday at school I am covering up everything i feel. No one really knows the real me because everything i do is just a cover up of how i truly feel. It's getting harder and harder to put on a happy face all the time especially when i'm feeling particularly upset. How can I stop feeling so crap all the time? I want to be genuinely happy for once.
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Post by Hairball Juni on Nov 14, 2006 22:00:06 GMT -5
You may not want to, but you should defintely seek professional help. There are also online support groups and stuff that are made up with girls (and guys) like you.
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Post by Sparkle on Nov 15, 2006 2:20:08 GMT -5
[[ I''ve added a trig mark to your post, I was getting complaints]]
Well... you have what sounds like Bulimia. You CAN get over this, and it may help with proffesional help. I suggest talking to some one.. family? Friends?
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Post by littlemikey on Nov 15, 2006 3:58:11 GMT -5
Which part of Australia are you from? I think you really need to see a councillor... they can provide alot of help. I have been cutting for a while and I have only managed to get over it with proffesional help
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Alcohol4ever
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Post by Alcohol4ever on Nov 15, 2006 16:12:39 GMT -5
Everything that has been said above is correct. You should think about joining Teen Vibe .
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Post by Will on Nov 16, 2006 12:05:33 GMT -5
Exactly. Join the collective...
At the very least we can PM you and talk to you.
Which part of Australia?
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