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Post by Southern_Cowgirl on Jul 15, 2006 2:12:09 GMT -5
My bestfriend Raychel was rape.... and i don't know what to do. She don't want me telling anyone because she may be pregnant and i think she is. She been having dreams about this stuff to so she is really hurting. She was raped by a guy she trust and when she was telling me what happen(she hasn't told anyone) i told her she was rape and she started crying because she is afraid and scared. I want to help her but i can't tell anyone and i been through the same thing but different and so was my little brother but i helped my little brother but i don't know how to help Raychel because the guy that rape her is a friend of mine and is nice. She thinks that because he was drugged up from getting his teeth pulled made him that way but i know better.... please can someone help me???
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Post by littlemikey on Jul 15, 2006 9:23:19 GMT -5
Hmm...
You need to try and convince her that she has done nothing wrong, that she was raped and she needs to tell someone so they can get the appropriate action. Make sure she understands it was not her fault.
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Alcohol4ever
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Post by Alcohol4ever on Jul 15, 2006 10:50:32 GMT -5
She has to tell someone. I was raped when I was 12, and I had gotten pregnant. Obviously, I had an abortion. because I was way to young. How old is your friend? You have to convince her to go to the police. What if he thinks it was fun to rape someone, and got away with it. Then he went off and got another girl. He could become a sex-offender.
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Post by Southern_Cowgirl on Jul 15, 2006 16:37:37 GMT -5
She wont go to the police and the only reason why she told me is because she trusts me and knows i wont tell anyone unless she says i can but the guy that raped her is her best friend and she can't do that to him.... she made me promise not to think about the guy any differently and not to tell anyone so i aint goin to do that to her... she's 14 but i know what ur sayin that he may turn into someone who rapes girls but....... i dont know anymore
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Post by allianne on Jul 15, 2006 21:51:57 GMT -5
When I was 14, I was so drunk at this party that I blacked out and one of my sister's best friend's raped me. The day after it happened I cried to it about my best friend and made her promise not to tell anyone because I thought it was my fault and made me the very *friendly* person. I cried for a week straight even during school, but I never said anything about it for about a year.
Listen, it's gonna be extremely hard for your friend to even think about the fact that she was raped. She's going to make excuses for him and she's not going to want to do anything. But, she NEEDS to tell someone. Offer to be there with her to tell an adult, or she might even want to have you do all the talking. If she tells her parents they'll be able to take her to the doctor, and if she is pregnant, then she'll have a choice of abortion because she was raped. They'll also be able to make sure she didn't get any STD's or anything. If she is pregnant, it's not her fault. She didn't ask for it, and make sure you tell her that no one will blame her if she is pregnant. I thought I was pregnant afterwards too, but it turned out that I had just been stressing out and not eating.
I know some people think that she should be the one to tell someone, but if she won't then you need to. She won't be able to get over it if you don't. A year after I was raped I wished and prayed that I would've told someone. I was hurt that my best friend hadn't done anything and had just helped me forget it. One of my biggest regrets was that I hadn't told an adult, and that I hadn't gone to the doctor for evidence or reported him.
Of course your friend made you promise not to tell anyone, and I know it's hard to know what to do because she's your friend and she's already hurting without you going behind her back. But, trust me, she's lucky to have someone like you that's trying to find her some help. At first she might be mad that you told osmeone, but that's because she blames herself and doesn't think he raped her. Sex is very private, and talking to a parent that we have had sex, even if it's rape, makes us feel ashamed.
Date rape is hard to deal with when everyone likes that person. But she needs help to be able to realize that it wasn't her fault. That's one of the hardest things to get past. It took me at least a year to get past blaming myself, so be patient and no matter how many times she cries, always be there for her. She'll need to feel cared for and she'll need to be reminded it's okay how she's feeling.
I really hope your friend is okay.
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Post by !Dances With Hamsters! on Jul 15, 2006 22:46:36 GMT -5
The drugs they give you when you get your teeth pulled DOES NOT MAKE SOMEONE GO AND RAPE SOMEONELSE!!! He is NOT nice, Nice people DONT RAPE PEOPLE.
A BEST FRIEND DOESN'T RAPE SOMEONE.
YOU ARE MAKIN EXCUSES FOR THIS PIG!
TELL SOMEONE WHO GIVES A *beep* WHO HE IS NO MAN SHOULD TAKE ADVANTAGE OF A GIRL. I DONT CARE IF HE'S *beep*ING GOD HE DONE SOMETHING WRONG AND NEEDS TO BE PUNISHED.
If she doesn't tell someone or you don't tell someone that's stupid. This dude is a fool!
It's acctually AGAINST the law to know that a crimed happened and you didn't report it .. and RAPE IS A CRIME.
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Post by allianne on Jul 15, 2006 23:11:17 GMT -5
I understand what you're saying, but it's easier said than done. It's hard to report it, and even the smartest people sometimes never say anything about their rape. I remember my parents talking to me about rape when I was younger and thinking if it ever happened to me, I'd be telling my parents first thing and taking the guy to court. But it's a totally different story when it happens.
But I wouldn't ever consider that guy a friend or nice. He did something horrible to her and I totally agree that he's a pig and should get punished by the court.
By the way, since your friend and him were close, make sure that she stays away and doesn't talk to him.
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Post by WilD CherrY on Jul 16, 2006 2:46:51 GMT -5
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Post by Southern_Cowgirl on Jul 16, 2006 10:47:27 GMT -5
I understand what yall said but i did tell 2 other people because i thought they could help and my cousin wants me to call the cops but i dont want to because Raychel will be pissed and i cant lose my bestfriend and then brittany who is also raychel's bestfriend doesn't know what do to do and her mom knows. I very worried about her right now because i haven't talk to her in about almost 2 days(and i cant call her cuz she has no minutes on her cell phone and doesnt have a house phone right now) and she cuts. I guess that i need to talk to her about tellin someone beside me but its hard. I know that rape is a crime because i have gone throught it for about 7 years so..... I aint tryin to make excuses for him... its that SHE TRUSTED HIM and look what happen... She aint goin to let me call the cops and i know that for a fact because when she was tellin me what happen and i told her that she was rape and she was freakin out...She also aint goin to stay away from him because he is like her brother(which makes me even more mad) and her parents know him and let him come over when they aint there
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Alcohol4ever
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Post by Alcohol4ever on Jul 16, 2006 13:32:16 GMT -5
Yeah. If he really is a best friend, he wouldn't have raped her. And you for being such a great friend should tell the police!
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Post by Southern_Cowgirl on Jul 16, 2006 15:08:46 GMT -5
she is telling me that he didn't rape her but i dint know if i should believe her but she may be pregnant.
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Post by allianne on Jul 22, 2006 0:26:41 GMT -5
She's not going to admit she was raped even if she was. You listened to your friend's story about what happened! If she said no at any point, it's rape. She didn't have to have a knife to her head, and she might not have even fought him, but if she didn't consent then it's rape. And those drugs the dentist give you don't make you so absolutely delusional that you rape someone! I mean, come on, he had his teeth pulled! They didn't perform brain surgery on him. There's no way they would've given him that much drugs.
I actually had to have people telling me on this site over and over again that I was raped before I would stop denying it. It's just hard. Don't let the fact that she's saying it's not rape confuse you, because she told you what happened.
I'm not saying that you should call the cops. I mean, honestly, I would've been so angry if my friend had done that to me. BUT, she needs to talk to an adult. She's going through hell right now, and it's not going to get any better anytime soon. Would telling her parents be an option? Just because your friend will get mad is not a reason to not tell them. She needs an adult there for her to take her to a doctor and to a counselor. She NEEDS help, so don't hesitate just because she'll be mad. She will thank you in the long run.
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Post by Ruby on Jul 22, 2006 13:15:56 GMT -5
Well, I'm sorry, but I don't know what to tell you. Just be there for her. I was 12 when I had my baby Kira. It will be hard for her if she is pregnant. I think you should tell an adult that you trust b/c she can't keep this from her parents forever. Good Luck! Sorry I wasn't much help
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Alcohol4ever
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Post by Alcohol4ever on Jul 24, 2006 20:01:01 GMT -5
If she is pregnant, then it's pretty obvious that he raped her. And you have to do the right thing, and go to the police!
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Post by Southern_Cowgirl on Aug 1, 2006 11:21:15 GMT -5
Well she aint pregnant
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Post by leslie on Aug 1, 2006 11:57:33 GMT -5
Still, I think someone else should know so proper action can be taken.
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Post by Ruby on Aug 2, 2006 0:08:08 GMT -5
Still, I think someone else should know so proper action can be taken. Agreed
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