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Post by stars2mind on Mar 7, 2006 18:18:25 GMT -5
ummm..yeah depression is a big problem in my life and its lead me to a lot of things. like drugs, drinking, self infliction, and suicidal thoughts, i guess you can say i have a psychological problem or two....but when ppl try to change me i hate it cause i love the feeling of it............. its like my home and i ve been here so long with ppl dying in my life that i love dearly...and i lost that feeling of trust for everyone in my life. i have led myself to believe that people will leave me all the time..........................and i feel the same about my gf. i dont what to help myself but i do, its a very confusing thing in my mind... u got any ideas
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Post by -‰KillerStyle‰- on Mar 7, 2006 18:29:25 GMT -5
Do you know whats making you depressed in the first place? Did something happen awhile ago that was tough for you to handle? If you can get to the main problem and work on that everything else will fall into place. I don't think you love the feeling of I think you've just got used to it therefore its normal to you and maybe you don't like change.That just my opnion tho. Ive been suffering from depression for a long time and when I sat down and talked to someone about it we found the main problem and worked on it and soon everything else just seems to get better on its own.
Im sorry for any loss's you have gone through, it can be really really tough to loose people you love so much. There's so many different feelings your going through and it can be very overwellming if you don't know how to deal with it the properly way and even people who do know how have troubles. After people died in my life I lost trust too I always thought I was just going to wake up and someone else was going to die everday.I was scared shitless to wake up and every time the phone rang my heart would stop. (Lots of people started to die at the same times) You should look into getting some grief counselling it really does help.
Usually when you feel like a gf or bfis going to leave you, it's because you have been 'abandoned' by someone else in the past like a parent or someone that you trusted and thought would be there forever.
By coming here to today means you do want to get help even though it may be hard Im sure you strong enough to get through it and feel better about yourself. Feel free to PM me whenever you want or talk on the forums..
Welcome to our community. *hug*
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Post by stars2mind on Mar 7, 2006 19:49:25 GMT -5
i know what started my depression.. its not like im not aware of myself.....you know. yeah ur right i am used to that feeling and i dont what to leave it!
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Post by Italian Stallion on Mar 7, 2006 19:54:02 GMT -5
Do you mind talking about what started it or no? I think it would probably good to get it figured out! your not alone.
The only way out is up and I know you can do it
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Post by ¤Teen Vibe¤ on Mar 8, 2006 0:55:52 GMT -5
Are you sure you don't want to leave it? To me it seems like you do because your asking for help. Is what started your depression embarresing or make you sad? No one here is going to judge you at all. If you feel comfertable talking about it go ahead. I'll try my best to help you.
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Post by stars2mind on Mar 8, 2006 23:59:02 GMT -5
not having all the love i really want at home........like my mom gives special attention to like my older bro just cause he doesnt have a dad...and she will like verbally and physically abuse me.............and ive lost ppl that i love one after another after another over petty shit like drugs and other shit [ppl who really treated me like family] i watch a good friend of mine get killed because of shit i dont want to discuss not because im embarrassed because it makes me want to drink and do drugs or other things when i think about it.............i and want to be clean in a way........odk i guess im just weird!
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Post by MuHa Feel the Wrath on Mar 9, 2006 0:12:06 GMT -5
Look at where everyone else in your life has got from drugs and alcohol and ask yourself if that's where you want to be because that's exactally where your going to end up if you do try to controll your problems with alcohol and drug abuse.
Its not going to make your problems go away. You need to talk about your problems witha counseller and get them sorted out the healthy way. You also need to sit down with your mom and tell her how shes treating you because that's not right for her to be doing that too you.
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Post by stars2mind on Mar 9, 2006 0:31:54 GMT -5
ive tried talking to my mom but she wont look at herself. she said that i over-exaggerate and that im crazy and i dont know what im talking about..........so i guess thats no help at all.................ive talked to counsellers and all they keep telling is turn my negative thoughts and turn them into positive things like school and crap.....and they put my on like a handful of anti-depressanta, and anxiety pills and crap..............that make me lose my appetite and shit............putting me on pills isnt going to work and i tell them that but all they say is that i dont know whats good for me and i cant make my own desicions....that if i dont agree with them they are just going to shove me in a mental hospital for months just to get over depression and my suicidal thoughts....they dont want to listen to me! and all that is doing is turning me into a steel person full of anger and negative energy, so i write my music cause it helps me calm down but when that happens it happens again like a dream that you have everynight..........probably the only i can resort to is runinig away to get all my stress takin out and everything.
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Post by !Dances With Hamsters! on Mar 9, 2006 4:45:20 GMT -5
Don't run away its a stupid idea. Have someone else there when u talk to yer mom like a aunt or unlce. anyone. It make's it harder for her to act like that then. Dont take the meds just pretend like u swallowed them and spit them out later.
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Post by stars2mind on Mar 9, 2006 20:32:03 GMT -5
i do pretend like i've swallowed them....but for some reason they check my mount and shit! so that doesnt work.........so now i just take em in hope that they wont send me somewhere. my mom doesnt care if anybody is there when i talk to her, she brainwashes everyone about me.....and i *beep*ing hate it. no one believes me and there's no point in even talking about it....cause its not gonna help and my childhood was screw-ed up and shit and i cant go back to change or m ake it better. the only hope i have is to turn 18 and actually do something i want to do with my life without ppl telling me i cant....
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Post by -‰KillerStyle‰- on Mar 9, 2006 20:37:47 GMT -5
I think the most you can do is try and ignore it untill you can move out and have your own life!! I hate parent's like that they always try to make themselves look good and like there kids are 'brats' its soo retarded. Stay strong!~
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Post by stars2mind on Mar 9, 2006 21:03:29 GMT -5
your right probably the best thing i can do is deal with! ill do my best in staying strong! but i cant promise myself i wont do something stupid in the process, but ill try again.
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Post by Dreamers Dream on Mar 9, 2006 23:24:07 GMT -5
Everyone has already given you great advice so I'd just like to wish you luck.
Try and stay away from the drugs and alcohol. Maybe look into doing something to take your mind off it.
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Post by stars2mind on Mar 9, 2006 23:34:53 GMT -5
umm yeah it is great advice! thanks.
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Post by Beautiful Disaster on Mar 10, 2006 6:34:49 GMT -5
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Post by stars2mind on Mar 10, 2006 20:22:45 GMT -5
back to you too
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