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Post by pretzelofconfusion on Mar 3, 2006 20:33:52 GMT -5
hey guys.. i have been cutting for almost a year now and i have depression and anxiety. things are really messed up right now to say the least but i have found that it helps to talk to other people so if anybody ever needs help with ANYTHING don't be afraid to pm me. hang in there!! lots of love, kar
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Post by Dreamers Dream on Mar 4, 2006 20:29:54 GMT -5
Whats going on?
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Post by Beautiful Disaster on Mar 6, 2006 9:43:10 GMT -5
awww we should chat on here sometime!!! ***Hugss***
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Post by pretzelofconfusion on Mar 8, 2006 15:43:01 GMT -5
a lot of things are going on... my mom namely.. she found blood on the bathroom floor the other day and immediately assumed i had done something and told me she still has some decisions to make about what to do with me (put me in a mental hospital). about 3 weeks ago i got really sick and threw up 5 times on that weekend and missed the first 2 days of school, then the next weekend i woke up at 3a.m. and threw up again, now today i was sent home sick AGAIN. i know something is not right but im afraid to get it checked out.. one of the reasons things have been 'really messed up lately' is because... i was going to kill myself. i was seriously going to and then other things happened and it didnt work out too hot. now my psychologist, the school social worker, my friend and her mom know and of course the school called my mom. it was all because a friend got scared but right now i owe her my life because she saved it. my family havent known about the SI for months now and im really worried they will find out. things keep happening where they get so close. my entire life is based on planning my every move and focusing on seeming normal no matter how fake it is. its just so hard and im sick of it!!!!! theres plenty more to say about what is going on but i dont want to bore you with a bunch of drama. if you really want to know i will tell you about one of the situations that happened like 2 weeks ago that freaked me out again... take care! karlee
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Post by Witty on Mar 8, 2006 16:31:01 GMT -5
I to plan my every move. Me, I got sick of it, and a month ago I just did what I wanted. I changed my style of everything. When I lived with my mother before my depression, I was outgoing, then when I moved to new york I got shy because I found out my mother was using me. Now I am just like 'whatever' Let me be who I want to be. You should not have to fake your moves. You should be you. Only you, and not anything else. You should honestly see a doctor and get checked out. You need to know what is going on with your body, no matter how scared you are. It could be from anxiety, because people do sometimes throw up when they have panic attacks or not. If you wish to tell me what has been happening over the last two weeks, feel free to tell me. I always love to listen to people, and help to.
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Post by pretzelofconfusion on Mar 9, 2006 10:59:58 GMT -5
some of the things that are going on i dont want to post because im guessing a lot of you would think it was extremely stupid of me to do and its just embarrassing if anyone could see it in a public post so please if anyone wants to talk pm me and i'll get back to you as soon as i can...
also, i cant just do whatever i want or tell my parents about things because they get very very mad. they already want to 'put me away' but whenever they find out anything i get into a lot of trouble. this is how it goes: dad- he finds something out, yells at me, tells me everyone is going to find out or whatever, says im looking for attention, and depending on his mood, he can get violent and that scares the heck out of me. i already avoid going home every day by coming up with things i need to do after school and i used to literally run and hide in my closet when i found out my dad was coming home from work. he is supposed to take pills for irritability but refuses.... mom- if she notices something is wrong like if i just break down and start crying she will come into my room and start talking like a caring mom, then suddenly if i tell her anything that she doesnt want to hear, like if she asks me about what she might be doing wrong and i try to tell her some of the things she has said/done that have hurt me then she will just say 'youre lying. i never said/did that! you are just making things up.' she will tell me that i am trying to get attention and whatnot and that is so far from the truth. i wish i could talk to them but i know i cant because i will get in trouble. then mom will start trying to lift up all my clothes and look for things. she does her 'inspections' of my body and its unbelieveably uncomfortable. if i refuse to let her do it she says im hiding something and threatens things like sending me away. i dont know what to do about it all anymore and im so scared about everything.
haha i know i have a lot of problems of my own but i am always open to try and help anyone else. sometimes its easier to find solutions when someone tells you how things are from their perspective.
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Post by Beautiful Disaster on Mar 10, 2006 6:47:46 GMT -5
I think your parents have soo many problems going on between them they don't know what to do. They should be the ones in counselling. You can PM me whenever you want. Just tell your mom to listen and if she says she doesn't want to hear it say " well don't ask me anything ever again then".
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Post by aod on Mar 11, 2006 12:15:30 GMT -5
think this way. youre here because you already chosen to be here. all you have to find out is why you chose to come here
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