Post by Southern_Cowgirl on Jun 27, 2006 11:53:51 GMT -5
Im depressed again like usually but its getting so bad.. last night my grandma called me a lair because i asked her when she was going to talk to the doctor about these black outs things where it goes black for a few seconds and its been happening more lately and now my dog is having to go back to the vet because she getting bad and it aint good... i can't stand to lose ny dog again and Lucy my gosh i havent had a dog that i have loved so much and spent so much time with...I can't any think about losing my dog..Plus i'm still very worry about my friend and i usually can talk to my bestest friend Brittany but i can't get ahold of her and these things just keep going through my mind like "Would my family even care if i ran away or hurt myself" and i know that i shouldn't but my gosh its hard and im over her baby sittin my little cousin and so how my poem that i wrote about mark(not I NEVER" on the fridge and i'm scared that my aunt going to show my grandma and my grandma is going to get really really pissed and we are going to have a fight and then she going to threaten me that she is going to slap me if i don't shut up( she probably get my grandpa) but she has never done it but it scares me because well i'm scared of my grandpa i mean damn........ i don't think i can deal with this anymore and while i'm thinking about all this it brings back memories of my friend who killed herself and mark and it hurts and its really hard to write this with crying but i can't deal with all this I'm ONLY 14 years old and i have dealt with so much shit when i was like 10 i was taking care of my little brother and sister because my mother was being depressed and didn't really care for us so we were on our own and now i feel that my grandparents don't care about me and im on my own again and i can't do that again
( im sorry its go long and probably dont make even since but i had to get it out of my system)
( im sorry its go long and probably dont make even since but i had to get it out of my system)