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Post by Jessi Wessi™ on Jul 19, 2006 21:38:31 GMT -5
This summer hasn't been going well and I had no one to talk to. I have liked this guy for a long time but didn't say anything. I was talking to him about a month after I got feelings for him and I found out he liked me too. I didn't say I liked him because his girlfriend was a really good friend of mine. In one of our conversations he found out that I had a crush on him. We would flirt in our IM's because that's all we could do. But one day he sent me a really sweet message on myspace and his girlfriend found out. She started to yell at the two of us and after a long fight they both broke up. Within minutes he asked me out and it felt wonderful. I'm 16 and have never been asked out before and being asked out by him made it so much nicer. I was so happy until we both saw how miserable his old girlfriend was. He told me that he couldn't do this to her and went back to her. I was crushed. It felt like my heart was ripped in two. I told him I understood but I wanted to commit suicide at that moment. I had only been asked out five minutes before he broke it off. I got offline and for the first time in seven months, I cut. I found a razor and slit my wrist. It's been about two weeks since he did that to me but I still love him. And everytime he tells me about his girlfriend or any other girl he likes I want to cut again. His girlfriend likes to rub it in my face telling me that he'll never be mine and that I shouldn't dream the impossible. She just makes me feel even more like a loser so I want to cut even more. I was even tempted to cut down the vain a couple of times just so I could end this broken heart. My family doesn't help at all either. They always tease me either calling me fat, lazy, a bum, useless a dumb blonde, ugly, Hitler (because my birthday is on Hitler's birthday), or emo and telling me I'm going to go cut myself after every little thing. They don't know that every time they say that stuff I want to cut. I've hidden a razor in my drawer so they wouldn't find it. I need help.
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Post by ¤Teen Vibe¤ on Jul 19, 2006 22:03:54 GMT -5
That tottally sucks that he asked you out then turned around and dumped you. I think the main reason was because it was so soon after his previous relationship there was no time for the dust to settle. I think you ended up cutting because for you being with him was a big "high" in your life, and then it just dropped like a roller coaster coming down. Thats a big emotional change for anyone to handle, more so when you have a past of SH.
Its not right for his gf to rub it in your face but on the other hand you can't make her stop. If you still talk to this guy I would let him know that you don't appreciate the way she acts about it and ask him to say something to her about it. He put both of you in this position so it's his job to handle it. I think the less you talk to him the better you'll feel. I know when I was 16 and me and my boyfriend broke up I was crushed to extreme about it because it was 3yrs and I seriously thought I'd never ever be happy again and that "theres no one else but him" but there is and I am more happy now then I was then.
If they break up again and he asks you out give it time before you start anything with him or anybody. He should atleast be single for over a month before jumping into something else in my opnion. Your parents don't make the situtation better either. I hate it when parents don't understand how their words and actions make it worse. The most you can do is tell them that it makes you feel worse. Maybe they think they are joking around so you're taking it like a joke. You never know but the best thing to do is ask them to stop.
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Post by WilD CherrY on Jul 19, 2006 22:11:44 GMT -5
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Post by Jessi Wessi™ on Jul 19, 2006 22:16:36 GMT -5
Would talking to him less really help? I think that's easier said then done. I can't get him off my mind. When I'm talking to him he still makes me happy and makes me laugh when I don't even want to smile, and when I'm not talking to him I keep thinking about our conversations. He's still a really good friend of mine and we still like each other he said he just can't break it off with his girlfriend. And thanks by the way. Your advice made me feel a lot better. I usually talk to my friends when I have problems but when it comes to cutting they freak out and just tell me that it's wrong. They forget to listen about the reason why I cut.
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Post by WilD CherrY on Jul 19, 2006 22:25:14 GMT -5
Less talking does help! Occupy your mind with something or someone else. Meet new guys get to know them and you will be less concerned about it.. I know for real this works.
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Post by pretzelofconfusion on Jul 19, 2006 23:57:25 GMT -5
i'm really sorry that whole thing happened with that guy. i understand where you and him are doing and i honestly dont know for sure what to say. he likes you so he shouldnt be just tied down by the other girl b/c he feels he needs to stay with her so she wont get so upset and down.. on the other hand i think it was really rude for him to drop you just like that and turn your life to just as much or more of a hell than the gf's. either way, someone is going to get hurt but there is nothing coming out of a relationship that is basically forced by that girl. you 2 should be together because its what feels right. the girl really needs to face it and get over it. she also needs to stop being such a jerk to you because what you did was not intended to hurt her, yet she hurts you over and over again. have one good conversation with the guy and just discuss all the options and what will come from each of them. explain what the girlfriend is saying to you and how you feel about the situation of him going back with her and share with him other people's points of view also. maybe once its just you and him he will see more clearly and make a sensible decision that will hopefully with time work for everybody.
as for the cutting.. please dont. i KNOW it is not that easy, but i do have a little thing i just discovered by my psychologist that truly does help in some ways. i will post it in the near future. look in the depression and self inflicted harm section for a thread called 'SI log'. please give it a try and see how it works out for you. if you need any more help dont be afraid to post. we love you and good luck!! lotz of love, karlee
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Post by Jessi Wessi™ on Jul 20, 2006 0:12:49 GMT -5
Wow....honestly I didn't think anyone was going to help me out. I thought this thread was going to sit unread and unposted for a while. So I really really appreciate the help that you guys have offered. And I'll try not to cut. It might be easier to stop now that I know this site exsists. But I'm not going to make any promises cause I don't know if I'll be able to keep them. I will read that 'SI log' future thread thing too. And as for him dumping his girlfriend. I just hope he sees that soon. I don't want them to break up because of me because I'll feel guilty but I want them to break up because I'm in love with him. Does that make me a bad person?
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Post by Beautiful Disaster on Jul 20, 2006 0:40:50 GMT -5
Hey I don't think theres any unanswered threads around here. Alot of people check this place hourly lol. You know what, Writing a SI log (I just read that thread) for me would be scary to leave lying around or even hidden in my room. Who knows who could find it. So I would suggest to get a Journal on here (Teen Vibe) and keep it private or not private whatever you want and then its more safer and you know only people YOU want to read it will read it etc.. I don't know I think thats a better Idea then having your own diary/journal type thing in your room. Just a suggestion. Theres also a stickied thread to other threads on methods to stop SI. *Helpful Websites* but some of them are just links to important threads in the SH board. Very Helpful.
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Post by Jessi Wessi™ on Jul 20, 2006 11:26:04 GMT -5
Yeah I just read it and I'm scared to leave that lieing around. Expecially since I have 6 other people in my family and my sister has already read my previous diary. I gave up on the Journal/diary thing after that. But I will be getting a journal on here since it looks like a good thing to have. I go to the Journal thread to ask for one right?
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Post by WilD CherrY on Jul 20, 2006 15:03:14 GMT -5
On the front of the Journal board it says 'get your own Journal"
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Post by Jessi Wessi™ on Jul 20, 2006 15:08:58 GMT -5
Found it and thank you all for your help. You guys rock!
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Post by GrapeJuice on Jul 30, 2006 2:11:47 GMT -5
I hope you find having a Teen Vibe Journal useful. You can always PM me or ask for help on here if you need anything else.
Grape Juice
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