Post by Jessi Wessi™ on Sept 8, 2006 11:50:40 GMT -5
About a week ago my crush asked me out and it was great! At first. Then my ex (we were still friends) found out and suddenly flipped. He started to tell me how much he still loved me and that I really hurt him (he was the one who broke up with me for his ex). I couldn't believe it! He was yelling at me for not staying single and continuing to love him. He told me that he didn't want to be my friend anymore cause I hurt him too much.
A couple of days later he calmed down and didn't say another word about it. But then two days ago he said that he was being distant with me because he thought it was best. It hurt me to hear it. I still think of him as a good friend and didn't want to loose our friendship. He kept telling me that he was doing this so we both wouldn't get hurt so I told him how I felt about our friendship and that him being distant was hurting me. He didn't seem to care at all. That's when I knew he wasn't doing it for us. He was being distant so he wouldn't get hurt anymore.
Well yesturday he sent me over the edge. I was told by a friend that someone was going to try and steal my new boyfriend away with me. My ex said that if that girl tried anything he'd kill her (not literally). I was surprised that he actually cared about my relationship with my boyfriend. Turns out he just didn't want to see my boyfriend get hurt because they are now friends. I felt hurt that he didn't care how I would feel. I wanted to cut at that moment but thankfully my boyfriend was still there and cheered me up.
He had to leave early tho (because he lives in the UK) and I got depressed again after talking to my ex. I went upstairs at my bedtime and cut. I didn't think about it. It was like that was my natural reaction. When I was done I felt guilty. I didn't know what to do. What if my boyfriend finds out and yells at me?
I was doing so well with stopping cutting alltogether. I had already gone about two to three weeks with out cutting or even thinking about cutting. My scars from the last time were almost all gone, but last night I reopened many of them. I don't know what happened.
Please help!