Post by rpmonkey80 on Mar 24, 2006 18:58:50 GMT -5
ok, so there's this boy. Let's call him MHT.
In 7th grade, when I first met him, we got off to an OK start. He mostly kinda kept to himself, but we talked and stuff.
After a few weeks, I discovered that in fact I really, really liked him. Like, this was a MILLION times more than any crush I've ever had before. It was serious.
For a while, I thought that he liked me, too. Every single time we saw each other in the halls, he'd poke me, or something to get my attention, and go out of his way to say "hey, whats up?" and just talk for a bit. I could feel him staring at me, but when I looked over he magically had turned somewhere else for a split second....then there was just..idk.
It was so great. He'd pick me to be on his team in gym class, even though he KNEW that I completely sucked at the sport we were doing. After the class we had together, we both had lunch - so he'd walk me to my locker, wait for me, then we'd go down to lunch. He would totally go out of his way to talk to me, even though he knew that all my friends pretty much hated him, he'd be almost late for classes taking the long way - my way - I was almost positively SURE that he liked me!
However, what was kind of weird was that he seemed to get mood swings. One day he'd chat up a storm and we'd be really friendly and stuff, then the next day he wouldn't even glance at me in the halls and would pretend I didn't exist.
At the end of the year, I just...I wouldn't know how I would, like, COPE without him all summer! However, we exchanged emails and AIM sns and chatted then.
Slowly, though, I realized that I had become obsessed. I NEEDED to find out every little detail about him, his life, and everything that went on around it. And I did. I'd snoop around, ask his friends, follow him and find things out myself...
Soon, I practically knew EVERYTHING about him! Literally. Everything from his favorite color to how many cats and dogs he had (and what colors they were) to his siblings, parents, his hobbies, what his house looked like, where he lived, what he did on weekends...basically, I stalked him. Literally.
I continued to think that, you know, he liked me (it was, erm, a bit obvious by now) and that I absolutely loved him. I was thinking about him 24/7, I couldn't stop - he was the first thing I thought about in the morning, the last thing I thought about at night, and all the times in between. My friends were actually getting quite sick with all the talking I was doing about him.
I needed - and still do need - him to survive. You see, before I met him, I was in a severe depression - cutting and all. But with him, I stopped. Every time he talked to me I'd get this wonderful feeling in my stomach and I'd be escatic for the rest of the day, sometimes more. Every time I thought about him I smiled involuntarily. If we didn't talk for a few days straight, I'd start feeling miserable again.
I knew it would crash sometime. Somewhere, in the back of my head, a little mini-voice was calling, "Raaaachel! You know this won't keep up forever. Something bad will happen..."
And indeed it did. He found out. Whether he heard me talking about him or someone else told him, he found out that I stalked him. That I had liked him for over a year. That I knew practically every single thing about him.
And guess what he did? He freaked. Stopped talking to me. Didn't IM me anymore. Cut off all contact. And I was heartbroken. I survived a whole, what, few weeks up to a month? Before I started cutting again.
Luckily after a litte while, my awesome friend talked to him for me (after complaining it would ruin her reputation...he's kinda a loner - no friends, no life, really annoying and can act really stupid =P ) - and he started talking again.
Well, sort of. There's still the mood swings - he'd act friendly for a day, but the next day when I said hi, he'd COMPLETELY ignore me - didn't even look my way.
But it's different when we don't talk. Like at lunch, we sit just a table across from each other - and he's always staring at me, every single time I look over there - it's kind of weird. And when we pass each other in the halls, its the same thing.
Then the INCIDENT happened. We had a PSSA meeting in the auditorium, right? The order my friends, him, and I happened to follow in was this: Dave (some random guy I know), him, me, then my friends. So I'm like, "OMG kayla! I'm gonna be sitting next to him!" but we were like yards away, he didn't hear me at all. But...wait...when we filed in...Dave was sitting in the SECOND TO LAST SEAT! So MHT went over him...and I didn't get to sit next to him...through sources, I found out that he ASKED Dave to sit there so he didn't sit next to me.
However, now, one of my friends talked to Dave and he said that Dave really actually likes me...so does MHT...and I think it's mostly confirmed: Dave and MHT were both having some sort of argument or whatever, maybe just talking, earlier in the day and they kept looking at me every 5 seconds while they were talking...
What should I do? I'm confused and need help and I'm like really nervous here....
Preferrably a guy's opinion since I'm figuring they'd probably know...but anyone really!
In 7th grade, when I first met him, we got off to an OK start. He mostly kinda kept to himself, but we talked and stuff.
After a few weeks, I discovered that in fact I really, really liked him. Like, this was a MILLION times more than any crush I've ever had before. It was serious.
For a while, I thought that he liked me, too. Every single time we saw each other in the halls, he'd poke me, or something to get my attention, and go out of his way to say "hey, whats up?" and just talk for a bit. I could feel him staring at me, but when I looked over he magically had turned somewhere else for a split second....then there was just..idk.
It was so great. He'd pick me to be on his team in gym class, even though he KNEW that I completely sucked at the sport we were doing. After the class we had together, we both had lunch - so he'd walk me to my locker, wait for me, then we'd go down to lunch. He would totally go out of his way to talk to me, even though he knew that all my friends pretty much hated him, he'd be almost late for classes taking the long way - my way - I was almost positively SURE that he liked me!
However, what was kind of weird was that he seemed to get mood swings. One day he'd chat up a storm and we'd be really friendly and stuff, then the next day he wouldn't even glance at me in the halls and would pretend I didn't exist.
At the end of the year, I just...I wouldn't know how I would, like, COPE without him all summer! However, we exchanged emails and AIM sns and chatted then.
Slowly, though, I realized that I had become obsessed. I NEEDED to find out every little detail about him, his life, and everything that went on around it. And I did. I'd snoop around, ask his friends, follow him and find things out myself...
Soon, I practically knew EVERYTHING about him! Literally. Everything from his favorite color to how many cats and dogs he had (and what colors they were) to his siblings, parents, his hobbies, what his house looked like, where he lived, what he did on weekends...basically, I stalked him. Literally.
I continued to think that, you know, he liked me (it was, erm, a bit obvious by now) and that I absolutely loved him. I was thinking about him 24/7, I couldn't stop - he was the first thing I thought about in the morning, the last thing I thought about at night, and all the times in between. My friends were actually getting quite sick with all the talking I was doing about him.
I needed - and still do need - him to survive. You see, before I met him, I was in a severe depression - cutting and all. But with him, I stopped. Every time he talked to me I'd get this wonderful feeling in my stomach and I'd be escatic for the rest of the day, sometimes more. Every time I thought about him I smiled involuntarily. If we didn't talk for a few days straight, I'd start feeling miserable again.
I knew it would crash sometime. Somewhere, in the back of my head, a little mini-voice was calling, "Raaaachel! You know this won't keep up forever. Something bad will happen..."
And indeed it did. He found out. Whether he heard me talking about him or someone else told him, he found out that I stalked him. That I had liked him for over a year. That I knew practically every single thing about him.
And guess what he did? He freaked. Stopped talking to me. Didn't IM me anymore. Cut off all contact. And I was heartbroken. I survived a whole, what, few weeks up to a month? Before I started cutting again.
Luckily after a litte while, my awesome friend talked to him for me (after complaining it would ruin her reputation...he's kinda a loner - no friends, no life, really annoying and can act really stupid =P ) - and he started talking again.
Well, sort of. There's still the mood swings - he'd act friendly for a day, but the next day when I said hi, he'd COMPLETELY ignore me - didn't even look my way.
But it's different when we don't talk. Like at lunch, we sit just a table across from each other - and he's always staring at me, every single time I look over there - it's kind of weird. And when we pass each other in the halls, its the same thing.
Then the INCIDENT happened. We had a PSSA meeting in the auditorium, right? The order my friends, him, and I happened to follow in was this: Dave (some random guy I know), him, me, then my friends. So I'm like, "OMG kayla! I'm gonna be sitting next to him!" but we were like yards away, he didn't hear me at all. But...wait...when we filed in...Dave was sitting in the SECOND TO LAST SEAT! So MHT went over him...and I didn't get to sit next to him...through sources, I found out that he ASKED Dave to sit there so he didn't sit next to me.
However, now, one of my friends talked to Dave and he said that Dave really actually likes me...so does MHT...and I think it's mostly confirmed: Dave and MHT were both having some sort of argument or whatever, maybe just talking, earlier in the day and they kept looking at me every 5 seconds while they were talking...
What should I do? I'm confused and need help and I'm like really nervous here....
Preferrably a guy's opinion since I'm figuring they'd probably know...but anyone really!