|
Post by vy on May 24, 2006 12:06:48 GMT -5
Dear members of Teenvibe:
Not sure where to start from. Ever since I was a little girl, I've dreamed of finding that perfect prince charming. That was my main motivation in life, and that was what kept me going. No matter how bad things got, I knew that things would get better.
But then, something bad happened. I lost faith after the event, and stopped believing in love. I started to hate everyone and everything around me. I became very isolated and withdrawn. There were times when I did think about cutting my wrist to see if I still bleed, because I had become so numb.
After years of being that way, I finally opened up about the event to a friend. He wasn't close at the time, but after that we talked a lot. I told him everything. I loved talking to him, because he was very objective and I trusted him.
Things are starting to look good again- since my break up. He was there for me when I needed someone to talk to. But now I'm not sure if I want to talk to him anymore - we care about each other like brother and sister, but at the same time - I don't want to talk to him anymore. I just don't.
I'm not sure if that is self sabotage, or if it is natural? All I know is I feel really aweful right now, because I went and deleted my email and any other way he can contact me. I am sick with dealing with this emotion and for some reason I think that cutting myself off completely from him - it will make me feel better.
Do you think I am just afraid of having a good relationship with someone again?
I'm just feeling like one big mess right now.
|
|
|
Post by -‰KillerStyle‰- on May 24, 2006 12:53:53 GMT -5
I think you are. Why dont you want to talk to him? You guys are like brother and sister you said and your just going to one day (in his eyes) disapear in his life pretty much. I think you OWE him a reason fro why you have decided to not talk to him anymore. How would you feel if he all a sudden deleted all ways you had of getting in contact with him?? (Judging that you wanted to talk to him) Its not very nice to just "delete" someone whos done nothing wrong (or that you have said) especially with no warning or no reason. Why are you doing this? Hes just a friend. (sorry if it came off harsh)
|
|
|
Post by vy on May 24, 2006 15:31:42 GMT -5
Dear Killer Style:
Not sure exactly. You're not harsh, no worries.
I just hate my parents a lot. I have so much I need to get out of my system, a lot of resentment and things to work through.
My mom has threatened me, to never talk about stuff in our family to other people, and I fear that I have already told my friend too much.
I need to get all this figured out, but I don't want to get him involved.
|
|
|
Post by Family Guy on May 24, 2006 15:34:16 GMT -5
just tell him not to say anything. should ruin a friendship over it i dont think
|
|
|
Post by Honey Beeswax on May 24, 2006 15:37:36 GMT -5
i hope u mean shouldn't
|
|
|
Post by allianne on May 24, 2006 16:09:56 GMT -5
Aw that sounded so much like me. Vy, sometimes people have it worse than others. Some people have to deal with more. It's unfair and when we feel like we're going through something no one can understand. Because of that we isolate ourselves. Now I don't know all the details about what you've been through. But to me, you sound like you are..or used to be an idealist. You know, always looking on the bright side and wishing for that fairy tale like ending. Our world we live in is tough and it can hurt badly when something destroys our look on life. It's like a rude awakening. But our life can be beautiful and happy if we make it that way. You're probably still scared or hurt over whatever happened to you. It was obviously something you can't just forget about. It's just something you need to learn from. You're lucky that you had someone to talk and be close to. Don't give that up. It can be scary to trust someone again and it's something you have to relax into. No one is gonna force you to do anything. But he's a good friend and u shouldn't leave him because you're feeling scared...or maybe vulnerable. Talk him and tell him what's going on. Since he's seen you through you good and bad times, I'm sure he'll be a much better comfort than any of us. Good luck
|
|
|
Post by vy on May 24, 2006 22:59:30 GMT -5
I feel a lot better. Thank you. It was just good to get this issue out of my system, but I talked to my mom about it, because it was really a problem between me and my parents. It went well.
Then I talked to my friend about my odd action and he understood and forgave me.
Thank you Killer Style, Familyguy, Honey Beeswax, and Allianne for commenting and giving suggestions to my problem. I appreciate all your help.
vy
|
|
|
Post by allianne on May 25, 2006 1:54:29 GMT -5
I'm glad it worked out for you.
|
|