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Post by vy on Jun 13, 2006 0:53:07 GMT -5
When we experience similar events, we usually react the same way. More specifically, I'm talking about FEAR.
As a child, I've always been told I am "special". However, now that I've grown more mature, I know that I am unique, but I am not different then anyone else. My wounds hurt, my cuts bleed, and I am no exception.
Once, I almost drowned and so I have this great fear of water. My friend and I share that same fear, and I realize we are a lot alike because of it.
I've experienced being in a really emotionally abusive relationship, and even though I'm completely over the break up and the guy. I'm not who I used to be, my self-esteem and confidence has dropped.
My question is (mainly for those who have been in abusive relationships), what happens now? How did you deal with it? What do you do now?
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Post by ¤Teen Vibe¤ on Jun 14, 2006 2:44:14 GMT -5
From experiance I can say that you just have to know in your own heart that that person had problems and not you. Whatever they said to you isn't who you are. Now is your chance to build yourself up and become a better and stronger person. It will happen, It just takes time and some good friends to help you. It can only get better from here. The hardest thing is to leave the relationship and to realize its not a good place for you to be. So congradulations on that.
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Post by allianne on Jun 17, 2006 15:08:24 GMT -5
I've never been in an abusive relationship. But, I have been hurt by some guy really bad. The hardest thing to come to terms with was why. I didn't get why he would hurt me so bad, why he would use me to make himself feel better. I thought that someway, it had been my fault..I had led him on or done something that excused what he did as ok.
You know how you read stories about people in abusive relationships, and you think it's so obvious that it wasn't their fault and they should've just moved on? It's not that simple and it really is hard to move on. Like Babycakes said, you need to realize it was HIS fault. He was the one that was wrong. You couldn't stop him and you did the best thing you could be getting out.
You were in a horrible relationship, and when someone you care about hurts you then of course your self-esteem is going to drop. If someone you cared for can't even treat you right and respect you, it's hard to think others can. It's an uphill battle, because even after the relationship ends, you have to deal with the emotional scars it leaves you. Go out with friends, talk to them..talk to your family. You need to feel good about yourself again and being around people who care about you and make you laugh will help. To move on, you need to overcome the fear that has developed in your head. It takes time. You won't forget it, but you will learn to come to terms with it. Just don't try and handle it all by yourself. *hugs* I know I haven't gone through exactly the same thing, but I hope I helped.
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Post by Beautiful Disaster on Jun 17, 2006 15:19:13 GMT -5
Talk with your friends, go out and get your mind off it as much as possible.
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Post by vy on Jun 18, 2006 22:47:42 GMT -5
Thank you for everyone's advice: Babycakes, Allianne, and Beautiful Disaster.
I've been keeping myself busy with work, and just not thinking too much.
I understand that it is his problem, but it still hurts - guess what doesn't kill me will make me stronger.
Guess this has given me the opportunity to bound with my family a lot better.
Thank you guys. I feel a lot better, just needed to talk to someone else about the matter, because it has been stirring inside of me for a while.
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Post by ¤Teen Vibe¤ on Jun 21, 2006 5:50:33 GMT -5
You're welcome. Its good that you have been keeping yourself busy. Of course it still hurts even if it is his problem. You trusted him, cared for him and look what happens! It's not your fault though and I hope you know that. Stay strong vy, You deserve better.
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Post by vy on Jun 21, 2006 21:04:45 GMT -5
Your right Babycakes. I appreciate those words, because I can't agree more - it really strikes a cord in my heart. I deserve better.
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Post by WilD CherrY on Jun 21, 2006 21:17:51 GMT -5
You seem like such a humble caring nice wonderful person I also think you deserve the best.
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Post by vy on Jun 23, 2006 14:35:30 GMT -5
Smiles,
Thank you Wild Cherry. You sound like a very sweet girl too, and definitly good with words.
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Post by GrapeJuice on Jun 23, 2006 17:15:32 GMT -5
Hey vy, I'm glad you were strong enough to get rid of this guy. He did no good for you. Everyone is right you deserve better then that and I think you are a strong person so overcoming this will be less difficult for you. People put others down because they don't feel good about themselves so they feel they need to bring everyone else down with them. He didn't put you down because you are what he said he said it because he is insecure about himself.
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Post by vy on Jun 25, 2006 0:56:30 GMT -5
Yes, very true GrapeJuice. I realized that he was insecure when I met him, but I thought I could help him change. Now I know better.
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