Post by Kat on Jun 29, 2006 16:32:29 GMT -5
((Wow, this is a long post! Sorry! I really appreciate you giving me advice!))
Uh...right... *face goes scarlet within seconds*
Ahem. Well, I never thought I'd say this (at least, not for a few years), but, well, there's this guy from school. I've mentioned him once or twice in previous posts, and I've referred to him as 'Jason,' so sticking to that habbit, I'll just explain my situation.
Well, last year (grade 7) I first met him, and he was in my class. We got along OK, but I suppose our situation was more of a 'let's-joke-around' type thing than an actual friendship. Later that same year, my best friend at the time, whom I'll refer to as Keisha, got homeschooled and left me all alone.
Keisha had had a huge crush on Jason, and me, being her best friend, heard all about it. The day before she left (she left school half way through the year to get homeschooled), she came up behind him and she kissed him.
Jason didn't return Keisha's affection (he later mentioned that, "she was so obsessed with me, it was scary!"), but his face went beet red and a small smile was clearly visible. She did it at the end of the day, when everybody was at their lockers (his locker was beside ours) and as soon as she left, he turned to me and begged me not to tell a soul.
I didn't, until much later, when the incident had long since past, but even so, people still notice, and one way or another, word got out.
For a while, I hung out with the same old people, but without Keisha, it just plain wasn't the same. Finally, I went off on my own and had more or less no friends. Jason was part of a close-knit group of girls, most of which had gone to the same school, who were in my class. Eventually, it was them that I became friends with, and therefore, I hung out with him more and more. We joked around most of the time, but we still had occassional serious conversations (I was one of the only girls whom he told who he liked). He was a friend, I suppose, but not a particularly close one.
Anyway...summer came, and at the beginning of this year, everything was more or less the same between us, except that we weren't in the same class. Still, I passed him in the halls and I still said hi. I started hanging out with Sam, who was also his friend, and so we greeted him quite often and had occassional, brief, conversations. Sam and I stopped being friends half way through this year, and he listened to her side of the story. For a while, I thought he was going to be a total jerk and believe her exaggerated version (the fights even got physical, so she claimed that I actually went around and tried to beat her up, which wasn't what happened at ALL), but then he asked me a while later for my version. I sent him an e-mail with my 11-page account of the first story attached. He read everything, I told him about the second fight, and for that while, we talked a lot. Every time I passed him in the halls, I said hi, and he always returned it. Every time we saw each other at recess, we generally talked and joked around.
I'm not quite sure for how long I've liked him (trust me, I'm not accustomed to this--I used to be a lot more interested in boys, but that stopped a while ago, and lately I haven't really liked anyone at all. Therefore, I was constantly telling myself that it was no big deal, and that I wasn't infatuated or anything, but I have to be honest now), but I know that at that point, every time he so much as said one word to me, I couldn't stop smiling. However, I didn't want to let anything on, and I happen to be a bit of an actress, so I managed to conceal my emotions, so they weren't for all to see. Sara is the one I especially wouldn't like to find out. I know it's selfish, because I tease her about who she likes all the time, but...I just can't help it. She makes it so obvious, I just play along. Me, on the other hand, nobody even guessed.
Anyway, it kind of went in a ^ shape in terms of our contact. There was a peak, and then there was a descent. We don't talk nearly so much anymore, but honestly, I still like to talk to him a lot.
Last week was a school trip, and he was on my bus, so I spent a lot of time with him; it was a BLAST! I liked joking around with him A LOT, and I felt so much better about the whole thing, because I was afraid that he hated me (y'see, we'd stopped talking, and sometimes I can be a little paranoid).
The night before we left, I slept over at my friend Jess's house, and after she promised not to breathe a word, I finally relented and told her I thought I might like Jason. It made me feel so good to confess to someone and know that they wouldn't tell, and I felt even better when he started being nice to me.
On the last night of our trip, there was a dance, and Sara, who had never danced before, insisted that he was the only guy she'd feel comfortable dancing with (she's really shy around boys, and she doesn't like Jason, but she's known him since grade six so she said she could trust him... *shrugs*), so I, very reluctantly, set them up.
Jason admitted to me that he didn't want to dance with Sara, but refused to turn her down (he never turns down girls--he just feels too bad about it), which was a huge relief, because I was afraid she might, you know, steal him from me (even though I never really had him in the first place).
After that, though, Sara was supposed to set me up, and she wanted to do it before a slow song came on, but the only guy she could think of for me to dance with was Jason! So, she asked him, and he said, "only if she wants to." I told him I would, and he said he knew I would, but did I want to?
Well, I didn't know what to say at that point. I wanted to dance with someone, and I'd secretly been hoping it might have been him, but it's really hard to tell somebody that yes, you would like to dance with them and not have them get the wrong idea. I finally told him that yes, I wanted to, after Sara threatened to set me up with somebody I didn't want to dance with at all. Unfortunately, there was only one slow song, and Sara was first in line, so I never did dance with him. The day after, he didn't say a word to me, and whether or not this was just a coincidence, I couldn't help feeling a little upset.
There was, however, always grad. At grade 8 graduation, we had a ceremony at our soon-to-be high school and a dance afterwards at the school we would be leaving behind. The day before, however, a close friend of mine (let's call her Vicky), said that she liked him and was going to ask him to the dance. I was mortified. I had to somehow get her alone to explain to her that I felt exactly the same way, and yet I had to get rid of Sara, who follows me around wherever I go. I did manage to (thank goodness!), but she asked him to the dance anyway, much to my dismay. She said that she was only going to dance with him once, and that I could dance with him, too (passing it off as a set up), but her wording said otherwise, and that never actually happened. At the dance, I didn't get to dance with him, and I was kind of disappointed about it.
Today was the last day of school; grad was last night. I still have his e-mail address and I, to be quite honest, want to stay in touch, but do so in such a way that it doesn't make it obvious that I like him or anything...
Vicky described her dance with him, and she said things like: "he was so close that I could feel him breathing! [...] We danced really close! [...] Jason just gave me a hug! [...] I think he might like me after all!" Now I'm seriously afraid. The thing with Vicky and Jason is that they haven't quite known each other for two years (maybe they have, but they haven't been friends for that long), and it's not like most of Vicky's friends are close friends of Jason's, nor that Vicky's friends would ever tease her about liking Jason. The situation is much different for me. The only people I told were the two people I could trust: Vicky and Jess. If Sara finds out, I'll never hear the end of it.
Therefore, unlike with Vicky, I can't just confess and have it all over with. What I want to do is make sure we're still friends first (we haven't talked for a while), and maybe work on that friendship. Maybe, if I even want to by then, it can be something more than that, but by confessing, I'm afraid I'll ruin the mere chance of us being friends. The only way I have to contact him this summer to make sure we stay friends next year (since we're going to a new school) is to e-mail him, which I seriously want to do.
Unfortunately, we haven't e-mailed in a while, so I was wondering how I could bring it up in such a way that doesn't appear sappy or make it obvious, but something nice enough that he will reply. Any ideas? You guys rock! Thanks in advance!
((Sorry I haven't posted in so long! I'll try to post over the summer...I'm away the first week of July, by the way!))
Uh...right... *face goes scarlet within seconds*
Ahem. Well, I never thought I'd say this (at least, not for a few years), but, well, there's this guy from school. I've mentioned him once or twice in previous posts, and I've referred to him as 'Jason,' so sticking to that habbit, I'll just explain my situation.
Well, last year (grade 7) I first met him, and he was in my class. We got along OK, but I suppose our situation was more of a 'let's-joke-around' type thing than an actual friendship. Later that same year, my best friend at the time, whom I'll refer to as Keisha, got homeschooled and left me all alone.
Keisha had had a huge crush on Jason, and me, being her best friend, heard all about it. The day before she left (she left school half way through the year to get homeschooled), she came up behind him and she kissed him.
Jason didn't return Keisha's affection (he later mentioned that, "she was so obsessed with me, it was scary!"), but his face went beet red and a small smile was clearly visible. She did it at the end of the day, when everybody was at their lockers (his locker was beside ours) and as soon as she left, he turned to me and begged me not to tell a soul.
I didn't, until much later, when the incident had long since past, but even so, people still notice, and one way or another, word got out.
For a while, I hung out with the same old people, but without Keisha, it just plain wasn't the same. Finally, I went off on my own and had more or less no friends. Jason was part of a close-knit group of girls, most of which had gone to the same school, who were in my class. Eventually, it was them that I became friends with, and therefore, I hung out with him more and more. We joked around most of the time, but we still had occassional serious conversations (I was one of the only girls whom he told who he liked). He was a friend, I suppose, but not a particularly close one.
Anyway...summer came, and at the beginning of this year, everything was more or less the same between us, except that we weren't in the same class. Still, I passed him in the halls and I still said hi. I started hanging out with Sam, who was also his friend, and so we greeted him quite often and had occassional, brief, conversations. Sam and I stopped being friends half way through this year, and he listened to her side of the story. For a while, I thought he was going to be a total jerk and believe her exaggerated version (the fights even got physical, so she claimed that I actually went around and tried to beat her up, which wasn't what happened at ALL), but then he asked me a while later for my version. I sent him an e-mail with my 11-page account of the first story attached. He read everything, I told him about the second fight, and for that while, we talked a lot. Every time I passed him in the halls, I said hi, and he always returned it. Every time we saw each other at recess, we generally talked and joked around.
I'm not quite sure for how long I've liked him (trust me, I'm not accustomed to this--I used to be a lot more interested in boys, but that stopped a while ago, and lately I haven't really liked anyone at all. Therefore, I was constantly telling myself that it was no big deal, and that I wasn't infatuated or anything, but I have to be honest now), but I know that at that point, every time he so much as said one word to me, I couldn't stop smiling. However, I didn't want to let anything on, and I happen to be a bit of an actress, so I managed to conceal my emotions, so they weren't for all to see. Sara is the one I especially wouldn't like to find out. I know it's selfish, because I tease her about who she likes all the time, but...I just can't help it. She makes it so obvious, I just play along. Me, on the other hand, nobody even guessed.
Anyway, it kind of went in a ^ shape in terms of our contact. There was a peak, and then there was a descent. We don't talk nearly so much anymore, but honestly, I still like to talk to him a lot.
Last week was a school trip, and he was on my bus, so I spent a lot of time with him; it was a BLAST! I liked joking around with him A LOT, and I felt so much better about the whole thing, because I was afraid that he hated me (y'see, we'd stopped talking, and sometimes I can be a little paranoid).
The night before we left, I slept over at my friend Jess's house, and after she promised not to breathe a word, I finally relented and told her I thought I might like Jason. It made me feel so good to confess to someone and know that they wouldn't tell, and I felt even better when he started being nice to me.
On the last night of our trip, there was a dance, and Sara, who had never danced before, insisted that he was the only guy she'd feel comfortable dancing with (she's really shy around boys, and she doesn't like Jason, but she's known him since grade six so she said she could trust him... *shrugs*), so I, very reluctantly, set them up.
Jason admitted to me that he didn't want to dance with Sara, but refused to turn her down (he never turns down girls--he just feels too bad about it), which was a huge relief, because I was afraid she might, you know, steal him from me (even though I never really had him in the first place).
After that, though, Sara was supposed to set me up, and she wanted to do it before a slow song came on, but the only guy she could think of for me to dance with was Jason! So, she asked him, and he said, "only if she wants to." I told him I would, and he said he knew I would, but did I want to?
Well, I didn't know what to say at that point. I wanted to dance with someone, and I'd secretly been hoping it might have been him, but it's really hard to tell somebody that yes, you would like to dance with them and not have them get the wrong idea. I finally told him that yes, I wanted to, after Sara threatened to set me up with somebody I didn't want to dance with at all. Unfortunately, there was only one slow song, and Sara was first in line, so I never did dance with him. The day after, he didn't say a word to me, and whether or not this was just a coincidence, I couldn't help feeling a little upset.
There was, however, always grad. At grade 8 graduation, we had a ceremony at our soon-to-be high school and a dance afterwards at the school we would be leaving behind. The day before, however, a close friend of mine (let's call her Vicky), said that she liked him and was going to ask him to the dance. I was mortified. I had to somehow get her alone to explain to her that I felt exactly the same way, and yet I had to get rid of Sara, who follows me around wherever I go. I did manage to (thank goodness!), but she asked him to the dance anyway, much to my dismay. She said that she was only going to dance with him once, and that I could dance with him, too (passing it off as a set up), but her wording said otherwise, and that never actually happened. At the dance, I didn't get to dance with him, and I was kind of disappointed about it.
Today was the last day of school; grad was last night. I still have his e-mail address and I, to be quite honest, want to stay in touch, but do so in such a way that it doesn't make it obvious that I like him or anything...
Vicky described her dance with him, and she said things like: "he was so close that I could feel him breathing! [...] We danced really close! [...] Jason just gave me a hug! [...] I think he might like me after all!" Now I'm seriously afraid. The thing with Vicky and Jason is that they haven't quite known each other for two years (maybe they have, but they haven't been friends for that long), and it's not like most of Vicky's friends are close friends of Jason's, nor that Vicky's friends would ever tease her about liking Jason. The situation is much different for me. The only people I told were the two people I could trust: Vicky and Jess. If Sara finds out, I'll never hear the end of it.
Therefore, unlike with Vicky, I can't just confess and have it all over with. What I want to do is make sure we're still friends first (we haven't talked for a while), and maybe work on that friendship. Maybe, if I even want to by then, it can be something more than that, but by confessing, I'm afraid I'll ruin the mere chance of us being friends. The only way I have to contact him this summer to make sure we stay friends next year (since we're going to a new school) is to e-mail him, which I seriously want to do.
Unfortunately, we haven't e-mailed in a while, so I was wondering how I could bring it up in such a way that doesn't appear sappy or make it obvious, but something nice enough that he will reply. Any ideas? You guys rock! Thanks in advance!
((Sorry I haven't posted in so long! I'll try to post over the summer...I'm away the first week of July, by the way!))