Gracie Elena Alyssa
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my dad
Jul 1, 2006 16:19:34 GMT -5
Post by Gracie Elena Alyssa on Jul 1, 2006 16:19:34 GMT -5
My dad and I never really had a good relationship. My parents split up when I was two and my dad moved to New York. I see him kinda like one or two times a year and now that he's married and have a baby he wants me to come to New York to spend the summer with him and his new family. He have told me a like a million times before that I'm gonna go to New York and spend time with or he'll come to me but he always cancel. I really want to go and I'm so scared that he's gonna call and cancel again.
Anyone been through the same?
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my dad
Jul 1, 2006 16:29:00 GMT -5
Post by Family Guy on Jul 1, 2006 16:29:00 GMT -5
never been through the same thing just tell him if he cancels your not going to make plans with him ever again and you will be very upset.
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Marzon
Junior Member
[ss:Coming Soon 2]
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my dad
Jul 1, 2006 16:41:36 GMT -5
Post by Marzon on Jul 1, 2006 16:41:36 GMT -5
No, but my parents don't have the best relationship either. If you really want to go, ask him why he cancels, but then again, he might have things he does. But then again, you're his daughter. Tell him that you want to visit and it would make you happy.. easy as that.
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Gracie Elena Alyssa
Newbie
[ss:PinkMadness][ss:PinkMadness][ss:PinkMadness][ss:PinkMadness][ss:PinkMadness]
Posts: 10
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my dad
Jul 1, 2006 16:55:53 GMT -5
Post by Gracie Elena Alyssa on Jul 1, 2006 16:55:53 GMT -5
Told him that so many times and he still wont listen. I know he loves me. maybe he's just afraid of meeting me since he haven't seen me in a very very long time now. I dont know.. Its just drives me crazy... What if I'm wrong.. what if he doesn't love me...
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my dad
Jul 1, 2006 22:39:27 GMT -5
Post by vy on Jul 1, 2006 22:39:27 GMT -5
Dear Gracie:
If he doesn't love you, he won't bother to make plans with you.
I'm not sure why he keeps on cancelling, but I'm sure he has his reasons.
My parents sometimes do the same thing. Even though I have two parents, they will both make plans with me, then cancel at the last minute. It was hurtful to think that there was something more important then me - that maybe they didn't care about me, so that's why I was always last on their list.
But then I realized, it's not true. It's because they love me, that they work so hard - to support me.
That's no excuse, but parents always have their reasons, even if it's not very good.
If you want, maybe give him a chance. Talk to him about it.
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Gracie Elena Alyssa
Newbie
[ss:PinkMadness][ss:PinkMadness][ss:PinkMadness][ss:PinkMadness][ss:PinkMadness]
Posts: 10
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my dad
Jul 2, 2006 3:43:37 GMT -5
Post by Gracie Elena Alyssa on Jul 2, 2006 3:43:37 GMT -5
My dad have really no reason not to meet me, but he's been off and on since I was two. For a while he would be sending letters, calling me just to say hey or god night princess.. and then he suddenly stopped and he wouldn't answer my calls or letters. Only sign from him was a present for my birthday and Christmas. He even moved and got married without calling me.. I mean, even if he lives far away that's something you tell... especially your daughter. He left my mom alone with a baby and then stayed in contact and then off and haven't talked to me since my 14th birthday and all of a sudden he wants me to come to New York.. I dint get what goes on in his mind.....
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Marzon
Junior Member
[ss:Coming Soon 2]
Posts: 153
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my dad
Jul 2, 2006 15:01:45 GMT -5
Post by Marzon on Jul 2, 2006 15:01:45 GMT -5
If he loved you, you wouldn't be sitting there wondering why he doesn't make plans with you. This is best left moving on, this is a part of like where you learn how to move on and stop wondering why.
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my dad
Jul 2, 2006 23:19:59 GMT -5
Post by vy on Jul 2, 2006 23:19:59 GMT -5
Dear Gracie:
Sorry, don't know what your dad is thinking either - only he would and will ever know.
I'm not sure what happened in the past, and I'm not sure why he did the things he did, but I think the important thing is, DO YOU WANT TO GO?
Do you want to see him?
If you do, then go see him - don't let the past stop you. If you don't, then just be true to how you feel.
The important thing is, what will make you happy? It's your call and your right, because you are his daughter - the choice is yours.
Good luck to you Gracie.
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Gracie Elena Alyssa
Newbie
[ss:PinkMadness][ss:PinkMadness][ss:PinkMadness][ss:PinkMadness][ss:PinkMadness]
Posts: 10
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my dad
Jul 3, 2006 3:59:50 GMT -5
Post by Gracie Elena Alyssa on Jul 3, 2006 3:59:50 GMT -5
Thanks It really helped.. I've talked to him yesterday and he said that he don't think it's a good idea that I'm coming now. With the new baby and all... What a load of shit..... Like I'm gonna bother the bitch and the baby... But I made my mind. I told him that I'm not coming and that I'm not going to go to see him ever. And then I hanged up. Kinda hoping he'd call back but he didn't. But now I don't have to think about that anymore. It's better to know that your father don't love you then walk around wondering about it. Gracie
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my dad
Jul 3, 2006 5:28:59 GMT -5
Post by ily on Jul 3, 2006 5:28:59 GMT -5
im sorry to hear that...but im glad you stood your ground! hope things get better for you hun
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my dad
Jul 3, 2006 18:54:22 GMT -5
Post by allianne on Jul 3, 2006 18:54:22 GMT -5
Sorry how bad it's been going with your dad. But it sounds to me like he's at least trying. Lets be honest, sometimes there are parents who never learn how to be parents. It sounds like he's scared to see you. I mean, he must know he's screwed with your guys' relationship.
I know that you might feel he abandoned you and that you don't wanna see him, and maybe you'll be able to live with that. But you may also regret it. If you want to speak to your dad, don't let fear hold you back. Just because it hasn't worked out before, or just because you feel he doesn't want to see you..don't let your fear of that hold you back. You need to do what you feel you need to do. You knowwhat kind of a person your dad has been, and then next time he tries to make plans don't get your hopes up. It's obvious that he's not stable with your plans, but as long as you know in your heart that you tried your best and did what you had to do, you have no reason to let your dad hurt you.
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my dad
Jul 3, 2006 22:26:48 GMT -5
Post by vy on Jul 3, 2006 22:26:48 GMT -5
Dear Gracie: I know how you feel (tear). My mom and I made plans for tomorrow. Today - my aunt calls, and now, she's too busy with her to go with me. I might be last on her list, but I'm worth more then that. You are worth more then that too! Parents are so silly sometimes, repeating the same mistakes over and over again. More of a pity for them really, because we are fabulous people - and while they are busy with "other" stuff, we are growing up. Makes me -_- sad, but it's their lost!
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my dad
Jul 5, 2006 22:50:46 GMT -5
Post by Beautiful Disaster on Jul 5, 2006 22:50:46 GMT -5
That really sucks! I don't know what to tell you. I'm happy you stood up for yourself and told him you weren't going to see him again. You should write him a letter and say "If you want to see me then you can come out here" I like to guilt trip my parents so I would also add "If you love me you will come" but I don't know how you are but thats exactally what I would do and I'm good at holding grudges so I wouldn't talk to him even if he tried to talk to me.
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