|
Post by pyro420 on Aug 4, 2006 19:55:06 GMT -5
Okay so my 2 best friends in the entire world... nick and amy (not their real names) .... they are causing my depression to go through the roof... but they have no idea that they are doing it.... i need to know what to do....
Heres the story
nick and amy have been together for 2 years, they have a beautiful baby girl together. nick has been my best friend since my junior year in high school (im going into my second year in college) we have been through everything together... when i got jumped last year he could have watched me get my ass kicked by 15 guys, but instead he jumped in and took the ass beating with me.... amy has been my other best friend for 2 1/2 years i have been able to talk to her about everything no matter what... we have a lot in common and shes perfect...
this is where my problems come in
I am in love with amy, i have been since i met her. I was perfectly happy with them being together, because she was happy and thats the only thing i have ever wanted for her. Now in the past year or so nick has become a total *beep*ing a-hole to her... he treats her like shit and is always insulting her... she puts up with it because she loves him and she has his baby... He is a great friend and nothing will ever take that away, but he is a shitty boyfriend... I cant take it anymore, i want to *beep*ing kill him whenever he is like that to her, i would have kicked any other guys ass for much less than what he is putting her through... he has driven her to start cutting again, she cut for the first time in 2 years last night because of him... i so want to tell her how i feel (if she doesnt already know... everyone else does) but i dont want to ruin my friendship with nick.... i have told him he needs to treat her better and he wont.... so i think i might have to kick his ass if he doesnt... but im afraid that if i do i will lose amy... along with that my depression is getting worse because i see courtney getting hurt and it breaks my heart every time she is upset.... nick is never home to take care of the baby... he is so stubborn that he gets pissed anytime someone trys to tell him hes doing wrong.. so ive given up on that... hes been at my house till like 6 am every night for the past 3 weeks...
everything keeps piling up.... i havent been this depressed since i was in 7th grade, and thats when i tried to kill myself... i just dont know what to do anymore.... i feel so lost help please
Pyro
|
|
|
Post by -‰KillerStyle‰- on Aug 4, 2006 20:22:06 GMT -5
To start off she shouldn't be cutting with a baby the enviorment needs to be safe and it doesn't sound like her boyfriend helps in the matter. Have you ever told her that even though the baby is young it still picks up on the tension between them? I hope they don't fight when the babys around. (Sorry I adore babies so they're my main concern)
This guy needs to chill out. Insulting your baby's mom is a big no no. I think the problem lays more with your friend then you. Im not saying its not you problem at all because they are your friends but it is going to be up to her to make her own decisions and take the actions. I know how tough it can be to watch two friends go through crap and have almost no control over it. You friend "Amy" needs to realize that being with a guy just for the sake of the baby is not the right thing to do. You can ask many people and they will say the same thing. If the parents can't get along it will just cause more harm for the baby in the long run then splitting up and working it out.
I don't think kicking his ass will do much good. He's choosen to treat her like this so maybe he needs a wake up call like her not putting up with it and walking out on him. Most guys tend to abuse women because they women let them do it and don't stand up for themselves. If she stood up to him and told him how it is and showed actions that it was going to be that way the chances of him smarting up are increased greatly.
Does she know that you love her? and is this like a friend love or more then that? If its more then that could cause some trouble lol.
wow I just rambled off so I hope this makes sense.
|
|
|
Post by xbrokenxdreams on Aug 4, 2006 20:32:08 GMT -5
I hate to tell you this but I think in order for you to do whats best for them(and you) you may end up losing one of them as a friend for the time being.
First I think you should tell her how you feel about her. Though it may complicate things it shows her that she does have another option that she doesnt have to stay with this guy. That there is a better guy out there for her.
Second kicking his a** probably isnt a good idea. It will only make him angrier and he would probably take that anger out on her so that isnt good.
Third you need to convince her that even though staying with the babys father may seem like the best thing for the baby it really isnt because this isnt a good environment for the baby to be in.
Ive told you all this before on tlol but I think I said it better this time lol.
|
|
|
Post by Beautiful Disaster on Aug 4, 2006 20:59:04 GMT -5
Its already been said what I would of said but if this situation is putting that much stress onto you should take a day or two off and just keep to yourself to regather your thoughts and calm down a bit. Tell her what you know or think is right for her and give her some options for what she can do and just sit back for a day or two and re coupe for youself. I don't want to hear about you cutting over this! Hes probably best off over at your place until he can learn to be nice. I know he should be there for the baby but its better to not be there then be there and cause problems.
I don't know what else I can tell you, She needs to figure something out and take some serious steps to get it sorted out so their baby can be in a happy home.
|
|
|
Post by !Dances With Hamsters! on Aug 5, 2006 0:24:47 GMT -5
Have you explained to him that she could leave him if he doesn't treat her better? I mean c'mon they have a baby together it doesn't sound like he respects her very much.
|
|
L.B
Junior Member
The Fridge
I have 4 hugs =[[ss:Tropical Paradise]
Posts: 194
|
Post by L.B on Aug 5, 2006 4:28:33 GMT -5
Sounds like they need some healthy time apart
|
|
|
Post by pyro420 on Aug 5, 2006 17:01:06 GMT -5
I have told her that the baby picks up on everything.... and they do fight in front of the baby, and i always tell her its a bad idea...
I have told him if he doesnt treat her better then she will leave him... he is so thick headed he never listens...
I finally did tell her how i feel, and she took it really well, shes not telling him because it will save drama and probably save a fight...nothing has really changed between me and her but i got it off my chest and i feel a whole lot better...
she is starting to realize she needs to leave him but she is in love with him and it will hurt her too much... she will in time realize that its worth the hurt to leave him
|
|
|
Post by pyro420 on Aug 5, 2006 17:01:40 GMT -5
and to killer style i am in love with her... head over heels in love with her...
|
|
|
Post by martin on Aug 6, 2006 7:45:55 GMT -5
Its good you got that off your chest I know how frusterating it can be to be in love with a girl who is with another guy, Especially an abusive guy. I hope she does realize that its less hurt to leave then to stay with him. I really hope it all works out for everyone everyone involved.
|
|
|
Post by Beautiful Disaster on Aug 6, 2006 17:15:16 GMT -5
Do you have any idea what she might do now?
|
|
|
Post by pyro420 on Aug 7, 2006 1:03:55 GMT -5
She is staying with him, hoping that thingsget better... her head tells her leave but her heart tells her stary...
|
|
|
Post by Beautiful Disaster on Aug 7, 2006 1:07:12 GMT -5
I would think thats normal though, Love is blind. Sooner or later she will see it clearly and won't think with a heart anymore. I dont know why but for some girls (Ive been there) you just don't see it until its REALLY bad.
|
|
|
Post by pyro420 on Aug 8, 2006 16:11:52 GMT -5
Well for the first year they were together he was a really sweet and nice guy... he did things for her and was great, but for the past 14 months he hasnt really done anything
|
|
|
Post by -‰KillerStyle‰- on Aug 8, 2006 16:21:56 GMT -5
Usually thats how it goes. Everything is peachy keen for the first while and then when you get comfortable with them your true colors show. I just hope the baby is okay in all of it and he stops being a moron to his girlfriend.
|
|
|
Post by Sparkle on Aug 9, 2006 5:08:56 GMT -5
I'd slap him, make him pay attention, then tell him he was a crap boyfriend and make him wake up and smell the roses.
But I see what you mean by it's hard when you're friends.
Maybe, the only person who can tell him is Courtney Amy, but she might get hurt in the process, and how are you going to make her see sense? Is there a really close friend of his you can talk to, tell them to tell him he's a moron, and the same with Amy?
|
|
|
Post by ♥Monizzle♥ on Sept 19, 2006 3:57:11 GMT -5
I'd slap him, make him pay attention, then tell him he was a crap boyfriend and make him wake up and smell the roses. But I see what you mean by it's hard when you're friends. Maybe, the only person who can tell him is Courtney Amy, but she might get hurt in the process, and how are you going to make her see sense? Is there a really close friend of his you can talk to, tell them to tell him he's a moron, and the same with Amy? AMEN SISTER!!!!
|
|