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Post by biancasaur on May 3, 2006 10:48:01 GMT -5
I don't believe anyone can choose what they feel deep down inside (i.e., attraction to the same sex or the opposite sex). People can only choose how they want to live their life. Thus, if they want to live the way they desire deep down (gay or straight), they can; or, they can live in a way that doesn't match up with their desires (ignoring their feelings deep down).
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Post by allianne on May 4, 2006 0:57:35 GMT -5
I agree that you can't choose on this. Back to the whole mustard and ketchup thing. You can like it, but that doesn't mean you have to use it. It's like people who are gay can't help it if they feel attracted to the same gender. It's a feeling. Like when you have a huge crush on a guy that is totally wrong for you.
But, there some people who are gay don't date people of their gender. Some gay guys have dated other girls but never had that attraction to them. Okay, for the example that girls will think other girls are beautiful...that's not a sexual attraction. And sexual attraction is really what shows whether or not we like them. I'm sure many girls who think other girls are beautiful wouldn't actually want to kiss them.
By saying that you can choose whether or not you can control your sexual preferences, that's like saying sending a gay person to one of those institutions to make you straight works. It doesn't. You can't go up to a straight person and make them gay.
And many people who are gay wish they weren't. If they felt so bad about being gay, they would change if they could. Who wants to go through all the struggle of being gay? Why would they choose to be gay if it would come with so many problems?
So basically, I think you can't choose your sexual preference. But, you can choose whether you give into your attractions and desires. Just like we can choose to not date someone even if we really like them. But it's not like your feelings will go away.
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Post by Andrew on May 4, 2006 17:45:28 GMT -5
I find that you can and do choose your sexuality, whether you are aware of it or not. It's a very complicated feeling and emotion, which is why it is hard to detect and hard to change. You have full control over what you want to be, but if you try to change, I think people may find that they don't want to change, no matter how much they're pushing themself to change. ok, you told me before you were bi, right? so now youre telling me you want to be bi? Yessir. For me, it's the only thing that's seemed right. I'm more comfortable around both sexes, and am sexually attracted to members of both sexes. I see nothing wrong with it, nor do I feel a need to change who I am.
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`Avvy
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Post by `Avvy on May 5, 2006 16:25:51 GMT -5
I disagree. I don't think you can choose, because I really did not choose to be bi, but...... another thing. Why would somebody choose to be scorned against by half of North America? Is that something anyone really wants? I know its easier for me to agree with people when they say, i can't imagine making out with another girl! then to say, well i have... that starts the questions, the rumors about who it was, the scorning, and shunning.... not fun!
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Post by -‰KillerStyle‰- on May 6, 2006 2:36:17 GMT -5
You can't choose. Its just the way you feel
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Post by guest on May 20, 2006 1:53:32 GMT -5
I am gay.
I didn't have the choice to become gay, it just happened. I started realizing it a few years ago, when I was 12.
I don't want to be gay, but I can't fight against not being gay... you are who you are.
I had to deal with becoming gay, I really realized I was at the beginning of this year, and I got very depressed from it. I felt like because of who I was (gay), that people would hate me for it, which unfornunately is true.
I am out of depression now, and am fighting not to become depressed again, which everyday I am worried I will, because when I first did, it hit me hard, it was that one moment it just really hit me, and I thought to myself all this crap and things.
Another reason I know I was/am so scared, is because of the religious stuff involved. I sorta am athiest right now, was very a couple months ago, when this first happened, because I was scared to admit if I was truely gay, then I would be going to hell. I thought it was really Fked up because I was this way, I didn't have a choice, and I still think it is wrong that I would go to hell for who I am as a person.
Another reason I got depressed so easily was because I didn't want to have my life having to hide my true self to everyone. I realize now, that I probably will, it just took time to really make myself choose to or whatever.
I now am sorta again believing in God, thinking that if I am to burn in hell because of who I am, then god must really be the devil, because no one would reject somebody because of who they are.
Religious matters really make gay people more likely to commit suicide, because of they don't want to deal with people or because of what the bible says, etc. and don't think they have any reason to live. I did, I was ready to commit suicide, but I really just had to think it over, and I realized, what I said earlier, if God was to send me to hell because I am gay, he made me this, then he really must be the devil.
Again, if I were to be able to, I would turn straight right now, but I can't, I am who I am, and I can't change that for anything.
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Post by -‰KillerStyle‰- on May 20, 2006 2:17:18 GMT -5
Im glad u didn't commit suicide u sound like u've come a long way.
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Post by `Avvy on May 21, 2006 4:51:42 GMT -5
HAIL, HAIL! WE HAVE IN OUR MIDST A TRUE PATRIOT!!
well, maybe i wont go running around screaming that... but close enough! I completely agree with you on religious matters, though it does not affect me because i have a total of two religious friends, both of whom respect my preference not to talk about it, though one (not counted) suggested I visit a preist, and when i did not told me i was gonig to hell and she would be happy to see me go. if you ask me, that is not how someone going to heaven should behave.
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Post by littlemikey on May 21, 2006 18:30:59 GMT -5
I am gay. I didn't have the choice to become gay, it just happened. I started realizing it a few years ago, when I was 12. I don't want to be gay, but I can't fight against not being gay... you are who you are. I had to deal with becoming gay, I really realized I was at the beginning of this year, and I got very depressed from it. I felt like because of who I was (gay), that people would hate me for it, which unfornunately is true. I am out of depression now, and am fighting not to become depressed again, which everyday I am worried I will, because when I first did, it hit me hard, it was that one moment it just really hit me, and I thought to myself all this crap and things. Another reason I know I was/am so scared, is because of the religious stuff involved. I sorta am athiest right now, was very a couple months ago, when this first happened, because I was scared to admit if I was truely gay, then I would be going to hell. I thought it was really Fked up because I was this way, I didn't have a choice, and I still think it is wrong that I would go to hell for who I am as a person. Another reason I got depressed so easily was because I didn't want to have my life having to hide my true self to everyone. I realize now, that I probably will, it just took time to really make myself choose to or whatever. I now am sorta again believing in God, thinking that if I am to burn in hell because of who I am, then god must really be the devil, because no one would reject somebody because of who they are. Religious matters really make gay people more likely to commit suicide, because of they don't want to deal with people or because of what the bible says, etc. and don't think they have any reason to live. I did, I was ready to commit suicide, but I really just had to think it over, and I realized, what I said earlier, if God was to send me to hell because I am gay, he made me this, then he really must be the devil. Again, if I were to be able to, I would turn straight right now, but I can't, I am who I am, and I can't change that for anything. Those are some good points
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Post by vy on May 23, 2006 21:57:48 GMT -5
Well,
Gay or not.
The important thing is how you live your life, the things you can control.
Mother Nature made you the way you are, for a reason, and you have no control over it: the way your nose looks, your eyes shine, who your attracted to, etc.
Thank you for sharing your story with us, Guest. Shows a lot of courage, and a strong character.
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Viper
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Post by Viper on May 23, 2006 22:27:28 GMT -5
No I dont.
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Post by Kari on May 27, 2006 6:28:54 GMT -5
i understand that ppl can be born gay and that its hard for them to realise that God can teach agenst that but it came out of sin and that sin came from the devil not God so those ppl can choose to live or not to live in sin its just that not sining is alot harder for them. If your strait you can choose whether 2 have a relationship or not. Even tho u cant pick who u fall in love with u can pick who you go out with. same with gay ppl, they cant choose whom they love but they can choose weither or not to follow that through, that dusnt mean you goin to become depressed because u cant follow your love through. I guess it may feel a bit like, ur not loved. but his friends wold be there for him and his family. My dad is a lutheran minister and his sister is gay. She wasnt disownd from th family. They still love her, but she followed her own path. That dusnt mean our family agree with it. Like, for example, a person desiding to take drugs, if the family fins out.. they're not goin to disown that person. They might not agree with it but that person has made his/her own choices. Im not saying that you can choose to be gay or not, i dnt thnk you can. But you can choose weither to act on it and if ppl stick there noses up wt you for being gay, they're not worth it. Have a lok at Romans 1:24-26
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Post by littlemikey on May 30, 2006 18:13:55 GMT -5
i understand that ppl can be born gay and that its hard for them to realise that God can teach agenst that but it came out of sin and that sin came from the devil not God so those ppl can choose to live or not to live in sin its just that not sining is alot harder for them. If your strait you can choose whether 2 have a relationship or not. Even tho u cant pick who u fall in love with u can pick who you go out with. same with gay ppl, they cant choose whom they love but they can choose weither or not to follow that through, that dusnt mean you goin to become depressed because u cant follow your love through. I guess it may feel a bit like, ur not loved. but his friends wold be there for him and his family. My dad is a lutheran minister and his sister is gay. She wasnt disownd from th family. They still love her, but she followed her own path. That dusnt mean our family agree with it. Like, for example, a person desiding to take drugs, if the family fins out.. they're not goin to disown that person. They might not agree with it but that person has made his/her own choices. Im not saying that you can choose to be gay or not, i dnt thnk you can. But you can choose weither to act on it and if ppl stick there noses up wt you for being gay, they're not worth it. Have a lok at Romans 1:24-26 Interesting points...
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Post by biancasaur on May 31, 2006 3:29:26 GMT -5
I was not raised Christian, and I don't know that much about the Bible (though I plan to read the whole thing this summer)... the one thing that confuses me when people say that gay people have a choice: Why would God give them such a hard decision to make, while other people (straight) can just follow their desires (to be heterosexual) and not risk sinning? I guess people believe that we all have to contain our desires in order to follow God's will, but... it's just very hard for me to understand. Maybe we should start a religion thread on the board to discuss all our different viewpoints? Is there one already?
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Post by moronicscarecrow on Jun 25, 2006 10:31:04 GMT -5
if you 'choose' your own sexuality your only denying the truth not possible, you are either way whether you 'choose' to show it to others or not, but you are still that way
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Post by littlemikey on Jun 25, 2006 18:06:22 GMT -5
I was not raised Christian, and I don't know that much about the Bible (though I plan to read the whole thing this summer)... the one thing that confuses me when people say that gay people have a choice: Why would God give them such a hard decision to make, while other people (straight) can just follow their desires (to be heterosexual) and not risk sinning? I guess people believe that we all have to contain our desires in order to follow God's will, but... it's just very hard for me to understand. Maybe we should start a religion thread on the board to discuss all our different viewpoints? Is there one already? I agree, God gives us choice, but some people seem to have a much easier choice to make then others. I dont think there is a religion board.... make a suggestion for one in the suggestions area, because it is a good idea.
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Post by WilD CherrY on Jun 26, 2006 4:34:28 GMT -5
I was not raised Christian, and I don't know that much about the Bible (though I plan to read the whole thing this summer)... the one thing that confuses me when people say that gay people have a choice: Why would God give them such a hard decision to make, while other people (straight) can just follow their desires (to be heterosexual) and not risk sinning? I guess people believe that we all have to contain our desires in order to follow God's will, but... it's just very hard for me to understand. Maybe we should start a religion thread on the board to discuss all our different viewpoints? Is there one already? Religion thread sounds good.. maybe in the general talk area or something. I dont know much about the bible or anything so I think that would be cool but I think people choose it because I've herd ppl say you go to hell if your gay so why would god have people born gay if they are going to hell? It wouldn't be a "Godly" thing to do.
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