butter
Getting there!
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Posts: 72
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Post by butter on Apr 8, 2006 15:22:45 GMT -5
So I told my friends that I cut awhile ago.And I tried to talk to them about it but they won't let me.They are so mad at me for it.One friend let me talk to her about it, but she happens to be mad at me right now.And I just found out that the whole time I told her that she was telling another friend.And she thinks I am a burden.I never wanted to be a burden.I started after my mom came at me in the kitchen.I know I don't have enough problems to cut.But I do.And the rest of my friends are tired of me because I put myself down alot.I dont mean to, but I do. The one friend I could talk to I can't anymore.I don't know what to do now.I don't have any more friends, and my mom is always asking me, why I am not with my friends.But I can't tell her because when I get upset, she gets mad and threatens to hit me.So I try so hard around my friends to fake happy.I don't know what to do.I want my friends back.I deserve this, but I wish I could just do something to make it stop and go back to life before I cut myself, what do I do?
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Post by ¤Teen Vibe¤ on Apr 8, 2006 16:18:36 GMT -5
I think your friends don't know what to do about it or how to help you. Which is understandable not everyone knows whats the right and wrong thing to do when they find out t a friend is purposely hurting themselves.
What you "friend" did by telling someone else when you didn't want that to happen isn't even a friend anyways. A true friend would not tell other people and would not say you are burden. You are not a burden, no one is a burden everyone has their problems.
Don't think you don't have enough reasons to cut. There is no set amount of problems people have to have to cut. It's not like oh I have 5 problems I can cut. It doesn't work that way. Some people don't even have reasons they just like to do it. Your problems are no bigger or less then anyone else's. There still important and still need to be dealt with no matter how big or little they are. Your obviously depressed and sad because you are cutting.
Don't listen to you "friends" in my opinion they don't seem to be much of a friend(s) anyways. You should try going to the friend thats mad at you and say " Hey I know you mad at me Kay but right now I need help not someone being mad at me, thats not helping me and your suppose to be my friend."
Your mom shouldn't threaten to hit you when you get sad. Thats really weird. You should tell her that hitting you isn't going to make you happy, its only going to make you sadder. It seems to me like you are around people who don't know how to deal well and use anger as a way to deal with things. I could be wrong. That's just how it seems to me.
To go back to the life you had before you cut you have to deal with your cutting and get help (I'm sure you know that). You have kind of started by coming here and talking to people who want to help you and not judge you or get angry at you. You can get through it and you can stop cutting. What makes you cut? what triggers you? A person? a argument? anything? Figuring out what triggers you is a good step to stopping.
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butter
Getting there!
[M:0]
Posts: 72
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Post by butter on Apr 8, 2006 18:03:29 GMT -5
The first time I ever did was when my brother was running away and doing drugs.When he was put in the hospital he went throught th ventilator system and got out.Then he tried to break in the house.The year after my sister fainted at school from anorexia.I have been cutting recently because no one cares.And then people say I need help and don't help, so I don't think I need it at all right now.I can't stop, everyday something worse happens.I always end up wanting to talk to a friend, you know just to talk about what is going on, but they get mad and block me or tell me not to think that and just stop.
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Post by ¤Teen Vibe¤ on Apr 8, 2006 18:28:24 GMT -5
It seems like you had alot going on then. When they say you need help say "Well then help me if you going to tell me what I need." People do care. I know I care and I don't even know you and Im sure other people on this site will say the same thing.
You can stop. Easier said then done I know but it is possible. Whats gettin worse everyday? What do you have going on that you need help figuring out? If you get control of the problems making you upset or cut you could start to control your urges to cut also. Try waking up every morning and saying "This is going to be a good day Im not going to let anything bother me." Usually how ever you think each day is going to turn out thats exactally what happens. For example if you wake up and say "Well this is going to be a crappy day" then it will be but, if you say its going to be a good day then it might be.
When something starts to happen that stress's you out just don't listen to it. Take yourself away from whats going and go do something by yourself like writing, drawing, watch TV, go on the computer, go for a walk etc. Take yourself away from the stress and have some alone time by yourself to clear your head.
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Post by littlemikey on Apr 8, 2006 18:34:57 GMT -5
Okay, well this is what I want you to do, buy a little pad book, or just get some sheets of paper and keep them and a pen in your pocket. Before you go to school, when you first wake up in the morning, I want you to write down exactly what you feel. then when you are just about to leave for school, write down exactly how you feel. then, when you are at school, whenever something happens that starts to stress you, write down what happend, what time it was, and how you feel after. and do that every time something happens that makes you feel stressed or angry. Then when you come home write down exactly how you feel, before you cut, and then before you go to bed write down how you feel again. And do this for about two to three days.
See exactly what triggers you, find out any things that are common throughout your day that make you feel like cutting youself, and write them down. You will find that writing down what the matter is will distract you from cutting.
If you have a scanner or the like, please scan in the pages of notes. And send them to one of us so we can read them and see if there is anything we can suggest to you.
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butter
Getting there!
[M:0]
Posts: 72
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Post by butter on Apr 8, 2006 18:48:28 GMT -5
The only thing getting worse is my situation with my friends and family.I have really bad grades so my parents are always mad.They expect me to be perfect. Even last night when I asked if I could go back on my medicine (for OCD) they got upset.They kept saying I don't need it.But I obsess about everything.And so I tell my friends or ask them if I can talk to them and they get mad.I don't understand.Is it wrong for me to talk to my friends about this?
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Post by littlemikey on Apr 9, 2006 0:14:14 GMT -5
Hmm... If you really want to tell your friends, I suppose you can, but I wouldent recommend it. Do you trust your friends? Do you think they will understand? I am just suggesting that you watch out, your friends may take it the wrong way... I told a good friend of mine that I once tried to kill myself, and he betrayed me posting about it on a site like this on where all my friends went on. As for your medicine, I would suggest booking yourself a doctors appointment. If you feel like you need treatment and your parents dont get any for you then you need to go about organising it, because if you feel you need it then you probaly do.
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Post by -‰KillerStyle‰- on Apr 9, 2006 2:49:48 GMT -5
I think what mikey suggested would be a excellent way to figure out whats triggering you. If you feel like you need medication and your moms not doing anything then tell your doctor! Evryones pretty much said everything so I'll leave it at that!
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