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Post by !Dances With Hamsters! on May 8, 2006 0:09:15 GMT -5
My friend thats a girl keeps asking me if I think shes fat, like I just say no but I don't mean it she is rather large for her height and stuff, I mean I dont care but shes asking and Im a bad liar so she never believes me when I say no, Should I tell her the truth of keep my mouth shut? Im soo torn. And if guys have ever been put in this position what did you say and what was her reaction?
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Post by Beautiful Disaster on May 8, 2006 0:48:28 GMT -5
are you talking about me?
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Post by vy on May 8, 2006 13:33:06 GMT -5
Well Dr. Phil:
This is what I would call a lose/lose situation and yes, I have been in this situation before.
Usually when these types of situations take place, I find that the person is not really interested in knowing she is fat or not, but really has a problem or something else she wants to talk about. So, I suggest, instead of answering her, ask her a question:
Example: Me: What makes you ask that? Person: Because such and such said .... OR Person: Because I can't fit into .... OR (Insert scenerio here)
Usually, if you listen to her and reassure her on whatever it is that is making her feel bad - you will get out safe and sound. No lies, no hurt feelings - all good. The person feels better about herself, and you feel good for helping out a friend. Then it become a win/win situation.
Not guaranteed, but give it a try if you like. Personally, this has saved me from a lot of hurt feelings.
^_^Good Luck!
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Post by MuHa Feel the Wrath on May 14, 2006 16:09:09 GMT -5
I would NEVER EVER EVER say a girl was fat or overweight you'll never hear the end of it.
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Post by Andrew on May 14, 2006 16:24:20 GMT -5
I've had many of my "girl"friends ask me if I thought they were fat, and while a few of them may have been a little overweight for their height, I never told them. I told them they look perfect (which, in their own way, they did). After all, for a good majority of people, looks have nothing to do with a person, so they could be as big as a house and they wouldn't care.
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Kat
Cool User
[ss:Euphoric]
Posts: 107
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Post by Kat on May 18, 2006 9:29:50 GMT -5
I would NEVER EVER EVER say a girl was fat or overweight you'll never hear the end of it. That might be just a bit too stereotypical to say that. It depends on the girl, and the situation. From a FEMALE's point of view, a lot of people will run off crying. Anyway, that's beyond the point... I agree with vy. If they're asking you questions like 'do you think I'm fat?' chances are that it's only because they feel bad about themselves or have another issue going on. You could do what she said (ask them what's wrong), or you could respond by saying, "do you think I care if you're fat? Fat or not, you're beautiful in your own way. You have an amazing personality, and you're a great friend to me. I don't judge on appearances, and I honestly don't care what you look like. It's all the same to me. If you want an honest opinion, then don't ask me, because I look beyond the appearance, and see the stunning inner beauty that you have." You might then want to ask her what's going on, or if she's having a problem with someone calling her fat or whatever. All she wants is probably some support from a good friend. It's quite possible that she's asking the question because she feels bad about herself, due to someone teasing her or some issues going on, and she wants you to say something nice about her to make her feel better.
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Post by Rachel on May 18, 2006 10:14:02 GMT -5
I would NEVER EVER EVER say a girl was fat or overweight you'll never hear the end of it. lol this is good advice ;D
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Post by stars2mind on May 31, 2006 17:42:27 GMT -5
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