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Post by Italian Stallion on Apr 1, 2006 23:01:59 GMT -5
whoa whoa whoa.. hold up girl it ain't your fault at all. you know how many partys I go to where there girls AND guys passed out drunk!:??!? it don't mean you juust climb up all over them and start doing shit. man that aint your fault at all .. Ill use killerstyles word CREEPS do that. Aint your fault one bit. d**n some guys can be dumb sometimes. f**k you need to cut his dick off or soemthing lol. u can deal with it on yer own but its gonna be hard. goodl uck with everythuing but remeber ITS NOT YER FAULT
[glow=red,2,300]AND WELCOME TO TEEN VIBE[/glow]
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L.B
Junior Member
The Fridge
I have 4 hugs =[[ss:Tropical Paradise]
Posts: 194
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Post by L.B on Apr 1, 2006 23:58:21 GMT -5
Do not think this is your fault. Everyone has pretty much said eveything I would of said. If you want to get through it on your own you should atleast have someone to talk to like a friend. You need some sort of support no matter what. Your a very strong person for reaching out for help on this. This isn't your fault and you didn't do anything wrong. You were drunk but, big whoop. He knew it was wrong and he has to live with it.
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Post by marty on Apr 2, 2006 3:03:43 GMT -5
hey allianne its not your fault at all and I hope he does feel bad the bastard. it was rape no doubt about it. you never said YES. who cares if your didnt say no. You didnt say yes. you were drunk beyond all belief you were blacking out and Im sure he noticed. he knew what he was doing and it was wrong. i hope your okay
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Post by allianne on Apr 2, 2006 13:20:46 GMT -5
Aw, I love all you guys. I think more people have given me support here than anyone else I know has. My best friend kinda just blows it off when I start talking about it. But, it's like that what I really want to talk about. He came to a party we were at once and when I started freaking out she told me to shut the f*ck up...great friend, right?
What I really want is to be able to go up to him and yell at him in front of everyone. Then I want him to admit what he did was wrong...because I hate how he can scare the shit out of me and how he is able to hurt me. I don't even know if he thinks it's rape. I mean, why else would he brag about it...he wouldn't tell peope if it was rape, would he?
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Post by Dregond [Gone] on Apr 2, 2006 13:59:43 GMT -5
well , if he was wasted he wouldnt know what exaclty it was either
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Post by allianne on Apr 2, 2006 14:05:49 GMT -5
He wasn't wasted. He was barely even tipsy or anything. But I dunno, maybe since he was drinking too might make him think it was okay?
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Post by Dregond [Gone] on Apr 2, 2006 14:19:19 GMT -5
nope, even if iwas wasted i'd still know what to do and what not to.. its not an excuse.
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Post by littlemikey on Apr 2, 2006 17:50:28 GMT -5
Aw, I love all you guys. I think more people have given me support here than anyone else I know has. My best friend kinda just blows it off when I start talking about it. But, it's like that what I really want to talk about. He came to a party we were at once and when I started freaking out she told me to shut the f*ck up...great friend, right? What I really want is to be able to go up to him and yell at him in front of everyone. Then I want him to admit what he did was wrong...because I hate how he can scare the shit out of me and how he is able to hurt me. I don't even know if he thinks it's rape. I mean, why else would he brag about it...he wouldn't tell peope if it was rape, would he? I would suggest finding a new best friend As for this guy, shouting at him infront of everyone would not be a good idea, however you could ask the councillor to speak to him about it, as that would probally be more appropriate.
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Post by GrapeJuice on Apr 2, 2006 23:16:08 GMT -5
You said he wasn't even tipsy! How could that impair his judgement? He fully knew what he was doing. Don't make excuses for him. He was wrong and he knows it. I think you should find a new best friend, if thats what you want to call them, best friends don't act like that to a friend who needs help!
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Post by littlemikey on Apr 3, 2006 2:12:07 GMT -5
^agree 100%
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Post by MuHa Feel the Wrath on Apr 3, 2006 2:39:05 GMT -5
u never said he could do that to u so it is rape n' its not ur fault at all u were drunk and he was wrong to do that
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Post by allianne on Apr 3, 2006 23:14:32 GMT -5
Yeah I guess I know it's his fault. I don't know why I try to make excuses for him. No one else I really know takes it seriously or thinks it's rape or anything so it's kinda confusing. Everyone here keeps bringing up the councilor thing but I can't really bring myself to talk to him. It's kinda stupid because then I'm avoiding the advice you have all given me which is the reason I came here...maybe some other time I might be able to? Is there any way I could say something to my sister to make her realize what he did to me? I just don't like that she hangs out with him every damn day. But I don't really know what to say. Thank you all soo very much.
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Post by GrapeJuice on Apr 4, 2006 2:43:27 GMT -5
Rape is an extremely serious trauma and a deep injustice. No one should go through the trauma of rape alone. You're probably going to need many kinds of help for at least a couple of months from friends, associates, and professionals. You deserve all the help you need, no matter what the circumstances of the rape.
A common problem is that it's very difficult to ask for help because the rape has made you feel ashamed, weak, and wounded. If you're finding it difficult to ask for help, here's what to do. Pick a special friend (one that does understand) and ask that friend to help you find more help. Ask that special friend to help you think of other people who would be good for different kinds of help. Ask your friend to make the phone calls for you. You can't deal with it on your own. You will emotionally crushed for the rest of your life if you don't speak out. I know you really don't want to and its probably because you feel ashamed, embarresed, scared, loss of personal power and control for that time.
Pain goes away when people tend to it. Ignored pain gets infected when people simply try to cover it up, and "put it behind them." You need one of these things..I think..Support and Company. Space and Solitude. Gentle Affection and Being Held For Support. Platonic Affection and to Not Be Touched and you need to be able to tell someone so you can feel these things and try to move on.
"You were asking for it (being drunk); you shouldn't have dressed like that/gone to that place/behaved that way."
FACT: No one enjoys being brutalized, humiliated, and put in fear of injury or death. Nobody's behavior or dress gives another person the right to rape. Even in social situations, one always has the right to say "no" at anytime.
Your bargaining- trying to pretend it didn't happen. Your trying not to deal with the rape in exchange for not having to continue to experience the pain. Your trying to deny the emotional impact this has had on you. Its not going to work forever. One day your going to explode with anger and sadness. Im pleaing to you to please talk about it and get help.
As for your sister all you can do is tell her what you experianced and how you feel. Tell her that you didn't tell her because you didn't think she would believe you and because she is good friends with him. Maybe let her read this? She needs to understand.
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Post by moronicscarecrow on Apr 4, 2006 5:47:25 GMT -5
Punch him in the face and scream some... what i'd do... make me feel like i've gotten it off my chest i guess
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Post by allianne on Apr 4, 2006 19:42:17 GMT -5
I don't want it turned into a huge deal. I don't want others to really know about it at all. The only way I could really talk to someone would be a school councilor, and even then he might tell my parents. But is it true that it'll end up hurting me worse in the end if I don't tell any adult and get help? lol, yeah moronicscarecrow what I want to do is punch his face. Not that'd i'd do it tho.
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Post by littlemikey on Apr 4, 2006 19:46:27 GMT -5
Listen, the councillor can only tell if you give him permission. If he does tell without your permission he could loose his job. So speak to him/her and tell them, it will make you feel alot better to get it off your chest.
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Post by allianne on Apr 4, 2006 19:53:32 GMT -5
I wouldn't know what to say. It'd probably freak me out all day if I decided to go. It'd be uncomfortable telling him how I was drinking and everything. Would he make me go back to visit him again?
And I thought it was a law that they had to tell the parents if a person has been hurt or something?
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