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Post by [Taboo] on Mar 21, 2006 20:23:44 GMT -5
In my life i have done things of regret, such as: Suicide,cutting, and drugs. in my family there is a history of depression witch is why i try these things. my uncle, when i was 6, Committed suicide by hanging herself. at least once a month i will try and strangle myself to death because of crap happening in my life whether it be from school or from something at home i still try.
When i found out that my best friend was moving i try-ed cutting and bleeding to death but that didn't work to well.
my drug Problem was last year when i try-ed ODing on pain killers my friends worried and knocked me around(not literally) till i got my self strait again.
allot recently Ive been 'Planing' on when I'm going to kill my self. i plan on doing it the day before i go to high school as a sophomore (8th grade now) because my Best friend is moving after freshman year. and i told her and she doesn't know that when I'm doing it she only knows that Ive been 'planing' it.
i don't know what I'm suppose to do. i feel that i have no mission on earth and that i have no reason to live. i once started 'Yelling' at god. told hem if i have no purpose in life take it. Nothing ever happened but i still think i have no soul purpose.
i just don't know anymore, but what i do know is that if i do succeed in killing my self that it will start a chain reaction and all my friends will do too because its like a big circle and we all have the same problem. so i don't want to take there life's with mine.
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Post by aod on Mar 21, 2006 23:51:26 GMT -5
life sucks but thats how it works. i know it seems there is no reason to live. Time will heal wounds like that. Think about a better tomorrow. if you need to talk to someone bad enough i'm always glued on my pc so i'm bound to be here but. You dont know what you got till its gone why take something that is not replaceable. i think you and your friends should all help eachother with there suicidal problems. wait for life to climb up again because like babycakes always said there is no sunshine without rain so cheer up!
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Post by ¤Teen Vibe¤ on Mar 22, 2006 0:05:16 GMT -5
Have you ever seen a counselor? If you feel like you may harm yourself or others call 911 immediately! As these things may run in your family it does not mean that you can't change and make your life different. Many people don't know what their "purpose" in life is for a long time. Some don't even discover it until way over 40 years old. You have a long way too go. Don't expect yourself to know what you purpose is. One day it will hit you and you'll be like 'wow okay now I see it'. You have alot more ahead of you and suicide is not the answer. I suggest that you see a counselor to talk about what has happened and what you are thinking about now. You can get help and your life will not always be like this. You are still young and have alot more to see and do in your life. Don't give up now. My PM box is always open if you ever want to talk.
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Post by aod on Mar 22, 2006 0:07:06 GMT -5
look calling 911 works but it wont work all the time when you think you want to kill yourself why because i've done it and i was told did it help it was a yes/no answer yes because i didnt kill myself no because it wont work all the time
Heres a number for all of you to remember when you need to talk to someone. its a toll free number and here it is
1.800.668.6868 All calls are confidental and are free open 24 hours and thats an answer for your problems
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Post by Dregond [Gone] on Mar 22, 2006 4:48:57 GMT -5
Friends come and go dear, sometimes its hard when they go...its like suddenly falling down a big hole. You try to distract yourself by cutting yourself or any otherway too, like you are with planning suicide. life is tuff alot of people dont understand , alot of people dont give a second to help, but there are people who do. You should go counceling and seek help...not coz your nuts ..lolol..NONO.. its because you need to change your perspective of things. you have a choice for now tho, you may not know your life calling ...im not sure i know it either..but you have a choice i mean insted of trying to kill yourself..do soemthing diffnrt to distract you. like for me when im upset or something i turn up the volume of a song like slipknot or something and just scream to it till im tired. its alot more affective ...and on the side..look around you..everyone in this forum is or was suicidal to an extent .we made a choice to help others....try that look for the ones like you and try to help them get out of it...that can be a temporay calling for you. People can be cruel, and your not alone in the pain. Seek thoses who hide in the shadows liek you and guide not just them but yourself out ..dont worry abt failiure or what others things. your life is your own , remmber that.. dont give into your fears or pain. they are the enemy fight them! dont say you cant , because you CAN! there will always be wars between you and you, and thats where you must be strong. Inside yourself. I know the strenght in you, dont give in.....
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Post by -‰KillerStyle‰- on Mar 22, 2006 5:13:38 GMT -5
Don't commit suicide. It's not going to fix anything at all. Your stronger then that and you CAN get through it. EVERYONE here on this site wants to help you and we will as much as you want. Let us help you and we will try our best!~ You can PM me whenever you want cuz I was in your shoes not too long ago and I came out of it and I know you can too. If you want to save yourself then I wouldn't hang out with people who are depressed or may influence you into doing stupid shit!~ I know I had a group of friends who were all like how you described and it only made me worse but you have to take care of yourself because no one else will and friends come and go but once you get help you will find friends who want to help you and can help you. The descision is up to you Im just saying its ALOT easier to surround yourself with people who you want to be like because then you have a kick in the ass to help yourself and get better. You can do it as much as you think you cant right now but you can!~ I beleive in you!~ Just hold on tight. When you start to slip down the rope tie a knot and hang on because you will make it. This is your life, Make it all that you can don't give up because you can and you will be something that you thought you could never be. Your more amazing then you know. I have faith in you!~ Good luck!!!!!~
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Post by [Taboo] on Mar 22, 2006 18:53:55 GMT -5
i know that i shouldn't but its like when I'm at my last straw i have to. it seems like the only option left. and usually it is.
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Post by ¤Teen Vibe¤ on Mar 22, 2006 20:28:50 GMT -5
You don't have to commit suicide. You haven't opened your eyes to other options because your depressed. Sometimes when we feel soo sad we don't realize the rational decision and we get stuck in this thought pattern that nothing is going to go good, this is all I have, this is the only way I can fix it and so on, but that isn't true. You have options and if you don't see them you can talk to people who can see them for you. Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. If you want to get help and see your way out you can. Its up too you.
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Post by [Taboo] on Mar 22, 2006 22:18:49 GMT -5
i don't want to talk to my Dad or a consoler because my dad will be hell pissed at me and think I'm going to turn out like my mom. and a counselor is only going to try and make it worse Ive learned that the only people you can confide in are the people you love, and know you the most, and will be there. but Ive been chasing a dream that can never happen and thats to live. I'm afraid of what will happen to me after High school all my friend think I'm crazy because i want to live of the earth in Alaska but thats the only thing i can come up with and my only problem is how to get there. so thats why Ive been planing my suicide. just getting complicated and confusing.
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Post by ¤Teen Vibe¤ on Mar 22, 2006 22:46:52 GMT -5
Is there anyone else that you can talk to? You are living right now so your living your dream. Only you can make you dreams come true and you are living right now(and always will be . Many people in high school get scared of what is going to happen when there done school but, talking to a guidance councilor will help. You don't have to talk about whats happening with you but, you can work on a plan for what you will do after high school whether its going to college or working. You control your destiny you just have to make the choices you want. If you want to move to Alaska then save up so when your done High School you can. Even having a part-time job and using your money wisely will help you be able to move. If thats truly what you want to do that doesn't make you crazy.
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Post by [Taboo] on Mar 22, 2006 23:56:23 GMT -5
Only people i can ever talk to about it are my Friends. well i should have included that part of my dream is it to happen after High school and my only problem with Alaska is that my Bro i almost forcing my to go to collage. so its even harder because I'm not only being pressured by my Parents to do good but also my Brother\. and its just so frustrating
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Post by ¤Teen Vibe¤ on Mar 23, 2006 0:54:52 GMT -5
Tell them that you might not want to go to college right away. Even if you never plan on going for the time being I would just say that you need a break before you get back into school mode. Its your life and by the time you take that break you will be old enough to say you don't want to go to college and they can't really say as much about it. Its your life and you can do what you want to do. How long do you have untill your out of High School?
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Post by [Taboo] on Mar 23, 2006 10:36:54 GMT -5
Im 8th Grade now and ending 3th Quarter Tomarrow, witch makes it worse because im getting closer and closer everyday. And it is my life but im expected to live up to my brotheres achevements.
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Post by Dregond [Gone] on Mar 23, 2006 10:44:38 GMT -5
bah , you are not your brothers...you are are you..no matter what anyones says , as long as you do your best , thats enuf.. as fort alaska ...hmm..too d**nd cold...try some place diffnrt a nice foresty place:D how old are you btw ?
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Post by ¤Teen Vibe¤ on Mar 23, 2006 15:44:23 GMT -5
Your not suppose to do anything. Do what you want and what makes you feel better. You may be expected to live up to your brother but you don't have too. Not everyone is the same. We all have different things that we want to do and if you don't want to do what your brother is doing then don't do it! Why waste your time doing something your family wants u too do when you could be doing something that you want to do?
If you do what your brother expects you too do your pretty much putting your life on hold because its not what your going to continue for the rest of your life. Your going to waste your time doing what they want you to do and by the time you know it your going to be 25 and be like oh shit. I just waisted 7-8 years of my life doing something thats not going to help me much in the future just because its what they expect you to do.
You need to explain to them that everyone is different and everyone wants to achieve different things in life. Also, just because it's not what your brother is doing doesn't mean its not up to snuff with their expectations.
Do what you want. Don't be pressured by other peoples dreams of what they want you too be. Be yourself.
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Post by [Taboo] on Mar 23, 2006 18:56:17 GMT -5
i know i should be my self and follow my own pathway but i don't have one. Ive been trying to be like my brother because hes smart and doing really well in collage and I'm proud of hem but i put myself in my brothers foot steps and then my parents got use to me being there and now they want me to do what he did. not like exactly but go to school be the best i can be and so on and so forth. but now it sucks because i don't want to follow my brother i want to go to Alaska. Not to Collage well at least not where I'm at. i just don't know anymore. and I'm 14.
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Post by ¤Teen Vibe¤ on Mar 23, 2006 20:06:00 GMT -5
Just tell your parents that your thinking about changing your mind. Atleast you've tried to follow his foot steps and you see that that's not what you want to do. You have time to save up, move to Alaska and break the news to your parents. No one can stop you.
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